Real World
Troubled Waters

Episode Report Card
Stee: D | Grade It Now!
In a hurry? Read the recaplet for a nutshell description!

Previously. Zach said the word "relational." He's single and lonely. Janelle lied that Svet's Russian Mafia Boyfriend Martin is "cute." Svet kissed Martin goodbye at the airport. She told us they've been together for three years. John said that things are going to get "interesting" upon meeting Svet. Oh, how I wish that had been at all true.

Credits. Model's back with the logo suntanned on it. Her three seconds of ass fame ends just like that.

Deck. Raining. Hammock. Table. Choppy seas. The kids shoot pool. Lingering shots of the clear balls. Heh. Clear balls. Svet talks about Martin, saying that things aren't great and that he's still doing the same dumb shit with his friends. (Breaking into houses and killing people in Philly's Little Russia, I'm sure.) Jose camera-brows that Svet is needy and needs attention and that's why she's with Martin. Jose also hypothesizes that she's only with Martin for the security. Svet tells Jose that if Martin is threatened by any of the guys in the house, he doesn't act like it. John asks Svet whether Martin knows that she wants his cock. Ha. John drunkenly says that he takes his cues from the girl, and that if she just talks shit about her relationship, that means she's open to something. Right on cue, Svet says that she cried when she had to leave Martin to come here, and that Martin didn't show any emotion at all. This is the first time Svet has been away from Martin. Paula sits behind them on the couch, pulling her hair out, she's so upset because she's not getting the attention. (And also because she has no nutrients in her body.) But Paula's saved by the bell as Martin calls, his borscht-filled ears obviously having been burning.

Phone room. It is Martin. While she talks, John tells us that Svet is dependent on Martin and currently has no other option. Yeah, a nineteen-year-old with a body like that has no options when it comes to guys. Maybe no taste, considering she's digging on you, John, but trust me, the girl has options. Jose brilliantly points out how "weird" it was that Martin called right when they were talking about him. John makes some dumb point about how he thinks it's a "cop-out" to come on The Real World when you're in a relationship. Dude, that's just 'cause your fratty ass got dumped months ago. John camera-gels that while she talks about having a boyfriend all the time, Svet contradicts that with her actions. Paula's spotty chest babbles for a while that Svet's time here might make it clear whether or not Svet should be with Martin. No, it won't. And no, she shouldn't. And also, I need a sandwich. And some scotch. A scotch sandwich! I wonder if they make that. I'll call Quiznos now.

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Real World




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