Real World
The Question and Answer Game

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Jessica: B- | Grade It Now!
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Group Bonding is Stupid

So Glenn gets this brilliant idea -- a plan which he feels will bring "the house" closer together. The idea? Group bonding. Trust-building exercises. Whatever. Each roommate writes a series of questions, directed toward other members of the house, and tosses them into a hat, anonymously. The horror. I hate these stupid games; if you want to know something about me, have the balls to ask me to my face, first of all. Second, I have basically no inner monologue, so if you're unaware of the intimate details of a facet of my life, there's probably a very good reason for that -- namely, that those details could quite possibly turn you to stone. In other words, had I been living in the Beach House of Banality at this juncture, I would have pissily refused to take part in what Tami calls the "Question and Answer Game." Then I would have stalked angrily out of the house and everyone would have talked shit about me behind my back. Then, they'd show me the shit-talking footage at the Real World reunion, and I would start to cry and admit that, deep down, I just wanted everyone in the house to love me, and then someone would fakely pat me on the back, and later we'd all write tell-all books about how Bunim-Murray ruined our lives.

Anyway, the roommates all sit around the living room and answer a ton of canned questions. What do we learn from this little game? That Glenn regrets inviting Perch to Los Angeles, because their staying in the beach house pissed everybody off. That Banthony suspects that she was genetically predisposed to be gay. That if Jon didn't sing, he'd be a minister, because he's all about The Lord. That Tami thinks that she's just naturally a bitch. That Beth wishes she (Beth, not Tami) were more of a bitch. That Dom thinks Tami should sell "Home Bitch Improvement" tapes for $29.50 on midnight informericals. Hee! Tami chortles. That Banthony is pissed because all anyone is interested in is her sexual preference. She also tells them that she could not love a man they way she loves a woman. That Glenn's family life sucks, because he has eight brothers and sisters and he was the baby and no one loved him and his dad never paid any attention to him because he wasn't good at sports and he's a failure and he never talks to his parents and he needs all their pity and love and attention to make up for that! Dom seriously advises Glenn to make peace with his father, citing his own father's illness as Exhibit A. At this point, I pause the tape and call my mom. She yells at me for all the swearing I've been doing in my recent recaps and hangs up on my ass. Beth tells everyone that she had a really hard time when her father died, because her mom wouldn't really let her work through the grief. Everyone shoots her mournful glances. Aaron admits that he is hard to talk to; Tami says that she is, too. Aaron says that Tami reminds him of his mother, a revelation that might just be the most disturbing thing I've ever heard on this show. He and Tami make a pact to work on becoming better listeners. Everyone beams at one another like one big happy family. Jon twangs that if they'd tried the whole group-bonding crap right at the very beginning, they would have saved themselves a whole passel of grief.

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Real World

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