Real World
The Long Goodbye

Episode Report Card
Pamie: B- | Grade It Now!
Adios, San Fran

Cut to Mohammed with his own friends. He's working on his music in the studio. Mo tells us he's schizophrenic right now and can't deal with the house because he's working so hard on his music. Mohammed says, "So, I'm kind of a loner to myself." Whatever that means. He says he has to hang out with his "true, true, true friends," instead of trying to make friendships with the miserable people he's being forced to live with. We totally understand, Mo. You're our hero. He says that he knows other people in the house made friends with each other; he just didn't have time to do it.

Cut to fun at the tide pool. Pedro's having fun poking things. He says that Cory's like a little kid. Cory makes everyone hug her. Judd is between Cory's legs as he tells us he was sitting in a beautiful spot and suddenly they were the only four people in the world. Judd, it's too late to try and become a romantic on us, okay?

Puck keeps calling the house and leaving messages. Everyone gathers to listen to the latest, where Puck's telling a joke. We don't get to hear it, because Rachel is bitching that everyone is annoyed that Puck keeps leaving "rude, offensive" messages. Everyone is still listening and they're all laughing, so I don't exactly see what Rachel's talking about. Rachel weighs in: "You know, he made his bed. He should lie in it. And have a little pride and stop calling back." Puck calls again. Jo wants to tell Puck a joke that Judd made up about him. "What's the difference between Puck and the pool table?" "The pool table's still in the house." Puck moans because it's so not funny. Cory is flabbergasted that they actually told Puck the joke! They actually told it to him! These people are wasting air. Puck tells us that Jo thinks she's so cool and "untouchable." Jo and Rachel are now wearing matching power suits. It's creepy. Puck stands in a garden to tell us that Jo will lose this "verbal battle."

What the fuck is going on? Why aren't they moving out?

Rachel tells Puck that things are much better now that he's gone. Puck's voice comes loud and clear over the speakerphone, telling everyone in the house that they are boring. Another point for Puck. Rachel is wearing an outfit she stole from either Morris Day or The Time. She tells Puck, "Later," and hangs up on him.

Chinatown. Rachel tells Pedro that she's going to miss him treating her like a little sister. They edit this scene strangely, because the next line is Pedro saying, "You are a brat," and then we cut to Rachel moving her hair back, looking up, and resigning, "I know." These three sentences weren't originally said in this order. Pedro is happy that Rachel has finally admitted she's a brat. He tells us that his relationship with her is always evolving. He tells us that he thinks she's a brat. She tells us that he thinks she's a brat, and maybe she is. I can't deal with this much information all at once! Rachel says that she doesn't feel like Pedro's interested in her life. She says she was really making an effort to understand him, and she was a bigger person for trying, and he didn't ever make the effort back. Pedro says he wasn't making excuses for himself for being sick, but that he doesn't really have time for many things, and he wasn't going to take the time to make homophobes understand him. Rachel talks about Pedro as if he's not in the room again. Then Pedro does, and I refuse to recap a scene where both people are talking about themselves in the third person. Pedro says that Pedro got what he wanted out of this situation. Rachel and Pedro end their meal in silence. Rachel tells us that she thinks Pedro is brave, but she doesn't consider him a close friend. She thinks that's sad, because she thought they'd end up being close friends. Don't you care?

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Real World




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