Real World
The Home Of The Brave

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 3 USERS: A+
The Home Of The Brave

Previously, on the Real World: The roommates put together their first cable-access show with the lame-ass title of "The Real Seven at Seven." Julie thought the first show sucked, even though everyone else was pretty happy with it. David decided to remake "Luck, Be A Lady" from Guys and Dolls instead of introducing himself like everyone else, and Kelley, in her role as producer, was having none of it. David said he always gets his way.

David and some girl are sitting on the front porch of Belfort. David voice-overs that he "hangs out" with a lot of girls, but one stands out and her name is Siena. Should we be concerned that he "hangs out" with girls? I mean, I don't know what the age of consent is in Louisiana, but I'm guessing that if they are girls and not women, he might want to check that. While David gives us the low-down, Siena is talking on a cell phone, and she leans forward so that the camera gets a massive cleavage shot. That's about all we'll get of Siena's "personality" in this episode. Or should I say, "personalities." David says that Siena has "connections" and she "knows people." What is she, in the Mafia? Is this some sort of Sopranos crossover? David says he told her he needs to sing, and Siena asked if he can sing the national anthem because she "knows somebody," and then she just called the person in charge of the local hockey team and got him an interview. So, she has a phone book? Wow, she is connected. We're all connected. Seriously, if you called any local sports team, especially a minor league one, and offered free national publicity with television cameras and everything, like they would turn you down. And, lest we forget, this is the same hockey team that supplied the tiger mascot for the Road Rules Make-A-Wish mission. But I'm sure David won the audition on his own merits, and B/M had nothing to do with it. In a confessional, David says that he wants to make sure that when he leaves there that he doesn't regret a single day, and that he has to make every effort he can, and that he has to do it with music because that is what the gift is. Now, I will not deny that David is a decent piano player, and his singing voice is not terrible even if his material is. But do you know anyone who has a talent, and refers to it is "their gift"? Unless it's like "the gift of gab" or something. That just seems a little pretentious to me. David and Siena meet with Amy, who is the head something of the New Orleans Arena, and apparently Canadian as well. This is revealed when she tells David that he won't be miked "to try ooot," so he should just stand there and "belt it ooot." I guess they had to import someone from Canada because they know all about hockey, eh? David wants to let the enormity of the arena sink in, as Amy asks if he has ever sung in front of a live audience. David says only at high school basketball games, which amounted to fifty people. What punk-ass high school did he attend? Only fifty people at a basketball game? David clears his throat and starts singing, and I prepare to giggle, but they cut away after "Oh, say can you see..." and make us wait. In an interview, David says he would love to sing in front of ten thousand people, and he would never forget that. Okay, because I'm a research nerd, I checked the stats, and the New Orleans Brass usually got just over six thousand fans per game last season, and while that's still a lot of people, it's hardly ten thousand.

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Real World




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