Real World
The Grossest Episode Ever

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The Grossest Episode Ever

Mike and his guests walk down the street. The girls note that Mike gets along really well with his male roommates. Mike tells them that before the Morocco trip, it was very much guys against girls. We also learn that they were in Morocco for a week, but it only took up one episode. Mike explains that his policy in the house now is to be honest. In an interview, Mike says that speaking his mind makes him feel at ease. If he were really speaking his mind, wouldn't he be silent? Mike explains that, in his house, nice people don't get any respect, so you have to be a dick to get respect. They arrive at a bar.

Lori advises Rachel to make specific plans with Gabe instead of just agreeing with whatever he says. Rachel explains that she didn't know what Gabe meant in his original call, so Lori tells her that the only way she'll find out is by straight-out asking Gabe. Good point. Gabe finally calls and Rachel tells him again to page her. In an interview, Rachel says that she has a big crush on Gabe and can't help it. Given what happens in a few minutes, I'm betting that she wishes she could burn all of this interview footage. Rachel waits outside. A car pulls up and Gabe gets out and gives her a big hug. Rachel gets into the car and leaves.

At the Chelsea Grill, Mike tells his friends that Ohio girls are more fun, and not like the girls with whom he lives. So girls from Ohio will let Mike score? That's basically what he's saying. Sarah (the Julie look-alike) asks Mike whether he wants her cherry. EEEEEEEEWWWW! There are not enough letters on the keyboard to describe how fucking cheesy that is. Even worse is Mike's response. He looks straight into her eyes and replies, very seriously, "I'd definitely take your cherry." Oh my God. I just threw up all over my keyboard. Hold on while I run out to the store and buy a new one.

Okay, I'm back. I unpause the tape only to see Sarah pop a cherry in her mouth, and then slowly pull it out, and then Mike puts it in his mouth, all the while looking deeply into her eyes. Oy. If there were anything left in my stomach, it would be gone now. The guitars start going "chicka chicka wah wah," and I really don't want to think about where this is going.

Meanwhile, Rachel is hanging out with Gabe, looking at a pager. Oh, so romantic. The song in the background says, "Do you want to be in love for real?" What a stupid question. No, I want to be in love for fake. In an interview, Rachel explains that Gabe informed her that he has a girlfriend, and that he didn't want to lead her on. She's disappointed that they can't hook up. Dude is cold as ice. I have to wonder if he only kept calling her to get some camera time, and I'm sure that Rachel was wondering the same thing. It's kind of odd that he was all about the emails and phone calls, and then conveniently had a girlfriend. I wonder if she lives in Canada and they met at Niagara Falls.

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Real World

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