Real World
The Grossest Episode Ever

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The Grossest Episode Ever

Gabe calls the apartment, and asks Rachel what her plans are. Rachel pretty much admits that she's hanging around waiting for Gabe's call. Gabe says that he's going to the Bowery Ballroom for a concert, and that it would be cool if Rachel came, too. Rachel agrees, but no firm plans are made for when or where they will meet.

Mike's friends arrive. Their names are Sarah and Michelle. Sarah looks a lot like Julie from The Real World New Orleans. As Mike helps them with their bags, he comments, "You guys are good packers. I like that." I'll bet he does. See what I mean about the homoerotic nature of this episode? In an interview, Mike says that he loves Ohio girls. Kevin buzzes them into the building and then uses this really annoying faux-Jewish mother voice to talk to them, causing Mike to flip him off. Once upstairs, Mike introduces his guests to Quarrel, who is actually really nice, and to Lori and Malik, who are also nice. Mike and his guests prepare for a night on the town, and the guests try to decide what to wear. Mike picks up a see-through top and encourages Sarah to wear it. The guests ask Quarrel for her advice, and she keeps telling them to be "craaaaazy," to the point where I wish she would just shut up. Lori tells them not to wear black pants, or they will be pegged as visitors to the city. In an interview, Mike reminds us that he promised to start taking a stand and saying what's on his mind. And apparently, the black pants issue is a battle that he's prepared to fight. Mike points out that Quarrel wears black pants all the time, even though it was Lori who originally brought up the point. Quarrel says that she lives in New York, so she can wear what she wants. Well, she doesn't exactly live there. Which would be a good thing for Mike to point out. But instead, he says that his guests can wear what they want to wear, too. Lori tries to clarify her earlier statement, but Quarrel interrupts and says that the guests asked for her opinion, and she gave it, which is true. Even if she was annoying in her response. In an interview, Quarrel says that she knows what she's talking about. And I have to admit that when I was in graduate school, there was a certain type of girl at Syracuse University, and if I saw her wearing those black stretchy flares with a backless halter or other sparkly top, and platforms, that told me a lot about her. It's probably not fair, but it's true. Mike tells his guests that they should wear the black pants just to spite his roommates. Yes! Black pants or die!

Rachel gets a voicemail from Gabe. He's at the show, but it's sold out, and he'll call her when he gets out of there. Rachel looks upset while listening, and then immediately runs to Lori to dissect the message syllable by syllable, looking for hidden meaning. That's such a girly thing to do. I've done it a million times, but I hope what I've finally learned is that guys don't embed their speech with a dozen hidden messages, so it's really not worth it to look for them, or to analyze their inflections. Rachel realizes that she has to sit around and wait some more, and is glad that Lori is still there. Again, very sensitive there, Rachel. Also, I wish Lori had just said, "Let's you and me go out somewhere, Rachel. F Gabe."

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Real World

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