Real World
The Grossest Episode Ever

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The Grossest Episode Ever

After a few shots of the Bug Room, we get the "wacky hijinks" music that plays every time there are hijinks that might be wacky. So what wackiness is going on? I don't even know how to describe it. Mike throws some pillows at Kevin. Kevin voice-overs that Mike is having fun and being himself. So, apparently, what Mike has been holding back all this time is his love of water sports. I say this because Mike crawls around on the floor for some reason, and then Kevin stands over him, holding a water bottle at crotch-level, and uses it to pretend to urinate on Mike. I don't know what all that was about, but I told you this episode was homoerotic. Mike continues to belly-crawl around the house, and throw pillows around. Finally, he stands and stalks out in the manner of Michael Jackson in the "Thriller" video. It was actually kind of funny, except that it was all so weird.

Mike talks on the phone to some girl named Sarah, who is his friend from home. After hanging up, Mike tells Rachel that Sarah and another friend are coming to visit him tomorrow. In an interview, Mike says that Sarah is the type of girl who understands "friends with benefits." Or, as a more crass person might put it, "friends who fuck."

The boys go out to eat at an Italian restaurant. I think they have a bottle of red, and a bottle of white, but it all depends upon their appetite. Kevin says that he took his life for granted until he got the nut cancer, and it gave him a new perspective. Malik tells Mike and Kevin not to waste this opportunity to be in New York City, and that they don't want to end up regretting anything. Although I think he's telling them to get out and experience the greatest city in the world, he could also be warning Mike about the embarrassing things that Mike does later in this episode.

Mike and Kevin go to Central Park. They watch people hand-feed squirrels and pigeons, which I think is just asking for a disease or something, but maybe that's just me. In an interview, Mike extols the virtues of Central Park, including "the art people doing art." Hee! Mike is also excited about the zoo right in the middle of Central Park, which serves as a nice segue to...Mike and Kevin going to the zoo right in the middle of Central Park! They look at the scruffiest polar bears ever, and a sea lion. Mike tells Kevin that they need to go out exploring more.

Rachel is on the phone with some dude named Gabe. In an interview, Rachel tells us that she met Gabe on the Warped Tour, and that he kissed her. While Rachel talks, Lori and Coral listen in on the extension, which is what my friends and I used to do in junior high. When Rachel says, "Woooooooowwww!" in a really exaggerated fashion, Lori and Coral fall all over themselves miming it, which is actually kind of funny. Then Rachel says, "That sounds sooooooo amaaaazing." Coral and Lori totally lose it and drop the phone, collapsing in a heap of giggles. Gabe asks Rachel about her job, and she explains that they work at Arista. Gabe -- and have I mentioned that Gabe is the lead singer in a band? -- suddenly perks up at the mention of a possible in at a record label, and asks Rachel if he can give her a bunch of t-shirts to wear, presumable for the resulting free publicity for his band. Nicole walks through the room while Rachel is on the phone, and starts cooing, "I love you, Gabe. I want to have your baby, Gabe." She says it very loudly, and I'm sure that Gabe heard it, which is again, kind of a junior-high thing to do. In an interview, Nicole says that she's happy for Rachel, and that she understands what Rachel is feeling with this crush.

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Real World

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