Real World
The Grossest Episode Ever

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
The Grossest Episode Ever

Although I have often been thwarted in my continuing quest to give you the "tag" from the previous week, which is usually covered up by the never-ending promos for the frigging Ten Spot, this week, they actually showed the tag. Sadly. Because here's what happened. While in Morocco, Blair and ADDam made some reference to Road Rules being The Real World's "sister show" and that Mike and company were going to get beat by their sister. "Beat"? Was there a competition between the two casts, like every other year? Why didn't they show it? Maybe it was too lame. Oh, wait. "Too lame." Like those words exist in the B/M vocabulary. Anyway, they talk about getting beat by your sister, or your bitch. All of this talk about women gets ADDam all fired up, so he flashes the assembled. This causes Mike to start yelling, "Oh, pinky," presumably referring to Little ADDam. In case you didn't get it, Mike yells it, like, seven times, and holds up his pinky. I'm starting to think it's a good thing that we don't see these tags every week.

Before the credits, the screen goes black, and the following appears in white text: "This season of The Real World was shot in New York City earlier this year. We have chosen to show the remaining episodes unaltered as a testament to the longstanding history and spirit of this great city."

Previously on The Real World: They went to Morocco. Mike and ADDam went skinny-dipping. For some reason, the editors chose a tuba as background music for this segment. In an interview, Rachel claims that she understands Mike a lot more after seeing him around the Road Rules boys. ADDam tells Malik and Kevin that they need to let Mike get his energy out more often. What exactly happened in Morocco? What "energy" was Mike "getting out"? This is the most homoerotic scene since the Seattle season.

After the credits (which open, as in every other episode, with a now somewhat jarring shot of the World Trade Center towers), we get the first good song of the season playing in the background. I don't know what it's called and I don't know who it's by, but it's the first piece of music that didn't make my ears bleed. The roommates take a train back into the city, presumably from the airport. Malik voice-overs that the trip made them appreciate the city even more. As they enter their gargantuan apartment, Mike says that he missed it. In an interview, Kevin says that the trip helped to cheer them up, but that it's good to be home. I wonder whether the roommates have the weird problem you get when you go away to college, where you are never really sure where home is? Like when you go home for the break, and then you refer to college as "home" and it gets really confusing? Now they have three places to call home, except Lori, who apparently doesn't have any. In case you didn't get the theme of the episode yet, which is that the trip changed their attitudes, Mike tells Kevin that he feels like things are changing in the house. In an interview, Mike expounds further upon that idea, saying that it's time to start being honest and take a stand instead of letting things go. Wow, it's almost like he's saying that it's time to stop being polite and start getting real.

In the kitchen, Lori is, of course, eating, because there must, by law, be one scene in each episode of Lori stuffing her face. I don't know why. There just is. Anyway, Mike is telling Lori and Rachel that he feels like he's been making adjustments instead of being himself. Lori and Rachel both exclaim over how exactly Mike has reflected their own feelings. They go on and on about how Mike must have heard their confessionals. Mike says, "I've been myself, but I've been at like a level six, and I'm usually at a level ten." What is he, Puck? Are we now going to get, in some Spinal Tap-laden sequence, Mike on eleven? In an interview, Mike continues to say "like" a lot and not much else, but I think he's trying to say something to the effect that, at home, he fights every argument and wins, but in the house, he's tried to adjust. If Mike wins every argument he has at home, he must have some really dumb friends. Or they just get tired of hearing him talk after a while and go, "Okay, Mike. Fine. You're right." Mike concludes by telling Lori and Rachel that it's "time for Mike to be unleashed." I don't know what that means, but I'm scared.

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Real World




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