Real World
The End Of The Skankocence

Episode Report Card
Stee: D | Grade It Now!
True Colors

Danny cuddles on the couch with Mel on one side of him and Johanna on the other. Okay, finally an episode I'd like to see! But alas, Johanna's cab arrives. Johanna tells us she's very sad, and she and Mel joke and hug and talk about something but neither I nor the captioners can catch it. Nor do any of us care to try. Johanna camera-cries about missing her roommates. Her cab rolls off. I just hope that, whatever show she's on next, she works a little harder on that whole drunk whore thing. Because seriously: disappointment.

Mel and Danny are left have a final fuck in every room. She's not ready to say goodbye. They walk around talking about missing various roommates. We get a flashback of them all in the hot tub. Mel and Danny look at their bed, needlessly making a sex reference, telling us that's where they spent all their time. Flashbacks of them cuddling. More walking around. Bathroom. They get into the shower for old time's sake and kiss. Flashback of them kissing in the shower. Gross. Twice.

Cab. Mel camera-talks about Danny. Love. Soulmate. Danny says bye to Big Tex. Their cab is a convertible. Eh. Cab. Mel says she was attracted to Danny right away: "And now you're my boyfriend...And I'm going to move to Boston to be with you." When you write dialogue in a script where characters give exposition under the guise of conversation, it's considered cheap and cheesy. Why is Mel allowed to do it, then? Danny camera-babbles about them being put here for a reason -- to meet each other.

Airport. Sitting. Mel cries. Danny camera-talks, giving a message to Mel. He loves her. She's been there for him. She cries. Danny takes his thumbs...and gouges out her eyeballs! Horrible! They hug. More Mel-snot on Danny's t-shirt. Dumb song. They kiss. Danny continues. Mel's his angel. He loves her. He's not going to say goodbye. He will see her soon. He stops talking and stares at the camera. Frankenhead. Giant eyebrows. Broken face. Mel heads into the gate. They love each other, they say once again. Danny. Dumb hat. No tears. Terrible song. He walks away and camera-talks about coming to Austin thinking he was strong and could get through shit alone, but then he went through hard stuff and realized that you need to lean on people and people want to help and you need to trust them and let them in. And Danny gets onto his plane, days away from beginning the super-fun slow realization that his relationship with Mel isn't nearly as sexy and cool and fun when there are no cameras on them. The fast disintegration of Danny and Mel's relationship: now that's a reality show I'd watch.

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Real World




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