Real World
The End Of The Skankocence

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Stee: D | Grade It Now!
True Colors

Another cab. Neh makes a snotty, faux-ironic comment about how it was nice to meet them all and that they'll probably never see him again. "Because you'll be in jail," says his lover. Neh tells us he's staying in Austin to appear in court because of beating down the wiener man. At the cab, Neh tells Wes that he never thought he'd like a white guy as much as he likes Wes. And to his credit, it's not like he just befriended a sorta white guy. He went for the whitest of the white. Danny laughs. Wes says he's proud to be Neh's friend, and adds something about strength and loyalty. Neh offers us sage advice, telling us that if we're ever on The Real World, that we should not think we'll end up the same afterward, because the experience will change us, for both good and bad, as it has him. Thanks, Neh! Neh's cab drives off, rocketing Neh straight to the top of the indie film world -- a feat to be achieved, coincidentally, on the same day a seven-hundred pound pot-bellied sow in Gormanville, Iowa sprouts wings and flies.

Wes answers the door to one? He looks down. Oh, it's Ryan, Lacey's wheelchair-bound boyfriend. Lacey is shocked. She kisses him and tells us that it's great to know she has a boyfriend who is willing to follow her anywhere. Well, unless there are stairs. She sits in his lap, and they hug, and she talks on about being supportive. Meanwhile, Wes and Danny joke about Ryan making them look bad on the boyfriend scale. Ryan says that they did it to themselves, telling the truth under the guise of a joke.

Outside. Johanna cries. Lacey tells us how much she'll miss Johanna, and that she considers her the one friend she made here. They were close? Really? We sure missed that. Johanna cries some more, feeling guilty that she didn't pan out to be the sluttish alcoholic train wreck she promised to become in the beginning. Bitch. Lacey and Ryan roll away into a very content, bitchy, happily-sexless life, where they will soon continue the process of morphing into the same person, only one can walk and the other wears too much lipstick. But by that point, it'll be hard to tell which is which.

Four left. Lord.

Inside. Johanna and Wes cuddle. America vomits. Wes tells us that he and Johanna have been getting close lately. As his cab appears, he tells us he's leaving with a "crush." Outside. Hugging Wes. Johanna talks about Wes as her "buddy," adding that they had a lot of fun. Wes breaks it down for us, camera-ghosting for the last time that he's no longer part of a group called "Seven Strangers." But rather he's now part of a group called -- are you ready? -- "Seven People That Have Gone Through Something That No One Else Has." There's the title your book, Wes! And also: "No One," unless you count the over a hundred other past cast members. Wes makes a pasty schmoo face, and the cab pulls away, taking with it so much Hate! that it has to be a record. It's so sad that Wes dies when he's twenty-four. Oh, what? You didn't know that? Sorry to ruin the ending for you. But yeah, he does. And, like the boy himself, it ain't pretty.

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Real World




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