Real World
Teck is the Cheese

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Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Teck is the Cheese

Previously on The Real World: Teck jumped into the pool naked, Kaia arrived at the house and hugged Teck and Teck asked Justin if he was gay. Here's a little tip for all you Real World viewers -- you can figure out who is going to be the focus of the episode by who they show on the "Previously" scenes. So we know in this episode, we're going to learn a little more about Teck.

As the episode begins, Teck is standing in the hot tub in his underwear (tightie blackies, if you must know), yelling, "I'm John Wayne!". The rest of his roommates are just kind of looking at him like, "Uh, okay. Whatever, Teck." Or maybe I'm projecting. Anyway, I have to comment that their hot tub is REALLY small. Although, they have a hot tub, and I don't.

Teck continues to yell for no apparent reason, saying "I don't like men!" Um, Teck, usually when people protest THAT much, they have some major issues with their own sexuality. People who are secure in their own sexuality don't need to go around yelling, "I don't like men! I'm John Wayne!". Actions speak louder than words, brother.

Then, in case we missed the point, Amaya tells us that Teck feels threatened by Justin's sexual orientation. Tetanus Girl is, as usual, topless. She tells Teck that John Wayne was bisexual, which upsets Teck greatly. Cut to an interview with Teck (where he is wearing the ugliest, brightest orange hat ever) where he helpfully informs us that there's no such thing as bisexuality -- some people are just greedy. Thanks, Dr. Ruth.

Cut back to the hot tub, where Teck and Kaia have some ridiculous argument I didn't understand about whether body type has anything to do with sexual orientation. Back in the interview, Teck talks about how he doesn't understand why it's cool to be gay these days. Hey, Teck, I've got two words for you on how "cool" it is these days for gay people. Matthew. Shepard. So shut up.

As Teck says (AGAIN!), "I'm a man!", the camera pans up his ugly, scrawny body, which is kind of a funny move by the producers. Speaking of ugly people, where is Matt? I think Matt is my favorite person to make fun of. He's so incredibly white-bread. In fact, from now on, Matt shall be known as Wonder Bread, if he ever gets any camera time. Being Wonder Bread, he is very inoffensive, and thus doesn't get to be on screen much.

Back in the hot tub, Justin asks Teck if he would've had a problem rooming with him, and Teck admits that he might have. Teck then goes on to say that he's a little nervous about being in his underwear in front of Justin, because Justin might be looking at his ass. I think Teck needs the services of a full length mirror, because Justin is SO not checking out his ugly body.

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Real World




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