Real World
Strip For You

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Strip For You

Previously on The Real World: Brice told the roommates that he was going to be their boss, and that they would be writing for a new Frommer's guidebook. Leah said she wasn't interested in the job. I don't know where exactly they pulled that quote from, because at first Leah was really excited about their job. Kate visited, and told everyone that Ace used to be an alcoholic. Ace felt bad that Kate thought he was immature and wanted him to change.

Ace and CT eat Domino's pizza, showing off how they have embraced French cuisine. Ace admits that he misses Kate a lot. Because of the pizza? He and Kate used to order up Domino's together? Ace interviews that he and Kate are having a hard time lately. Ace grinds some pepper onto his pizza, which is gross, and says that he's tried calling Kate, but that he just gets her answering machine, and that she doesn't call back. Ace interviews that when he does talk to Kate, she doesn't seem to want to talk, so he thinks something might be wrong. Ace morosely chews his pizza and contemplates life. And pizza.

Ace reads his email and finds one from Kate. We don't get to see the whole message, but since I am nosy, I paused and tried to read as much as I could. I got the phrases, "I don't think you've ever been...and school and work pulling you in 100 different directions...worn out and don't have time to sit down and write you...understand that sometimes I HAVE ZERO TIME to do the things...really challenged by school, or if you just forget what it is like...could just be one of the factors in my life that I didn't have...." and that's all I got. And then the second paragraph says something about "being defensive" and "I'm so confused." In a confessional, Ace says that he got a tough email from Kate, and that being apart for five months is tough on anybody. So from those snippets, I got the vibe that Ace was complaining that Kate doesn't have time for him, and she wrote him an email basically saying, "Unlike you, I have a job and go to school, so pardon me if I don't have hours each day to talk on the phone." Ouch. Adam bounces down the stairs and grabs Ace's arm, and Ace totally gives him the Heisman and pushes him away. Awesome! Adam runs out of the room, crying, and goes to write a rap about rejection. The camera zooms in on the last line of Kate's email, which is, "I don't know what to do!" and Ace contemplate that, while wearing a backwards baseball cap. In a confessional, Ace says that it's not the first time a girl he likes is gone, and that he thinks it's over with Kate. Ace goes for a walk outside, alone.

Eiffel Tower Shot Cinquante-Trois. Ace lies in bed with Leah, and she asks where he was until 8:30 AM. Ace says he was at the strip club. Ace says he got all the strippers to believe that he was the heir to the fortunes of Sam Walton, founder of Wal-Mart. In a confessional, Ace says that he spent a thousand dollars at the strip club. What? I don't even understand how that's possible. Then again, I've never been to a female strip club. But seriously. A thousand dollars? I can't even imagine how that money was spent. And I don't want to think about all of the things Ace could have done with that money instead. Like give it to me. I can't be the only one with the fantasy that some really wealthy person, like Oprah, or Bill Gates, will just decide that I'm a really good person and give me enough money that I never have to work again, but not so much that they would miss it. Every time I hear Oprah talk about buying a necklace or something that cost, like, sixty grand, I just think, "Give that money to me!" I have issues. Anyway, so does Ace. Leah laughs that Ace spent that money on "hookers." Mallory asks if Ace just gave them the money. Ace explains that he got ten lapdances from one stripper from Kansas whose name was Andi, and that she was hot. Leah bitches, "Shut up, Ace! You didn't even get laid!" Ace responds, "Yeah, I know. I had vagina in my face, though." The women all scream. Hee! Ace scampers over and gets into bed with Mallory. Leah calls him "Billionaire strip-club goer, heir of the Wal-Mart estate." Ace asks Mallory if they can snuggle. Leah interviews that Mallory and Ace have crushes on each other. Mallory makes fun of Ace for lying to the strippers and dropping so much money.

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