Real World
So Long, Farewell…

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
So Long, Farewell...

Justin talks to his mom on the phone about someone getting chemotherapy, and then he tells us that he's worried about some family members who are sick.

Colin and Tet Girl walk down the street. Colin says, "Justin's trying to pit [sic] certain conflicts in the house." He tells Tet Girl that he assumes she's genuine (ha!) or for all he knows, she could also be fake. Tet Girl says, inexplicably, "You don't have to disclaim [sic] it, because you're right." What does that even mean? Anyway, in that confessional they have used a million times, where she's wearing the gigantic dangling bindi and the red shirt, Tet Girl tells us that she "wanted to let it play out, but there were moments when it was over the top", referring to Justin's evil plan, I guess. Back at home, Tet Girl once again babbles senselessly: "My biggest thing was not so much me but watching him hurt other people, even if those people, like, I personally don't like or whatever, but he was like 'Come on, come on, help me, help me' and I was like, 'Nuh-uh...that's [bleeped] up." Let me just say that I have no idea how to punctuate that sentence so I'm going to ask Wing Chun to just put a big ol' [sic] in there and be done with it. Let me translate from Kaia-speak: she's saying that although Justin was hurting people she didn't like, she did not want to participate. The problem with this statement is that she never told Justin that she wasn't interested. Instead, she just played along as if she agreed with his actions, and then disavowed him afterwards. Because she sucks. Tet Girl goes on to say that Justin is not emotionally involved with anyone in the house, and that it's all for his pleasure and he's bored. Then, for some unknown reason, they show a clip of Justin with brown hair, sitting in the hot tub. Huh?

To the sounds of the Bass Line of Foreboding, we enter the confessional room (and the producers conveniently label it as such), where Colin and Annoying have gone to talk about Justin. I realize that this entire episode consists of the housemates talking behind each other's backs. Anyway, because this whole segment takes place in the confessional room, it has bad lighting and camera work, and resembles nothing more than a bad cable access show. Annoying says that Justin is crazy. Colin is speaking very overdramatically, and again, I am thinking this whole thing is scripted. Maybe it's the lighting. Anyway, Colin says that he talked to Tet Girl and found out that Justin wanted to instigate fights and prey on people's insecurities. He goes on to say that Justin's been thinking about leaving because there's nothing "worthwhile" at the house (and yes, he makes the finger quotation mark gesture). Annoying begins, "Kaia, like, loves him..." and Colin yells out, "No!" and then says that Kaia realized that Justin wanted her to be his spokesperson (Colin says "platform" but I don't think that makes sense) and Kaia was like "No! That's not okay." Colin goes on to say that Justin's goal was to have Kaia talk shit and create conflict. Well, we know that Kaia did not, in fact, ever tell Justin that she didn't want to be involved, but obviously that's not what she told Colin. Also, Colin acted like he was trying out for A Streetcar Named Desire or something. I'm surprised he didn't rip off his T-shirt and start yelling, "Stella!"

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Real World




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