Real World
Slitting Throats

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Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Slitting Throats

And, we're still in Fiji. In case you weren't sure, despite the island vegetation and crystal blue waters, the editors helpfully provided a caption explaining, with ultrasimplicity, "Fiji." The roommates speed off somewhere in a small motorboat that doesn't look nearly big enough to hold the number of people contained within. Karamo wears a lifejacket and clutches the side of the boat fearfully. I think someone is a nervous swimmer! MJ interviews that the landscape is beautiful, and looks like the Amazon. The roommates exit their speedboat and get onto a raft that looks even less sturdy than the boat. It looks like something the contestants on Survivor would have to make during a challenge. They pull into a beach somewhere and grab inner tubes for a float down the river, followed by a jump from a waterfall.

Shavonda interviews that she has a fear of water (man, she has a lot of fears, doesn't she? ["well, mentally challenged people are 45 to 65% water, so..." -- Wing Chun]), and she wonders, if she starts to drown, whether or not someone will save her. Yeah, they're just going to let her drown. And on national television, no less. She is such an idiot. The tubes reach a part of the river that runs a little faster, and Landon yells that there are rapids coming up. The cameras dart and dive all over the place, trying to make the tiny waves look like raging rapids. The roommates swim their tubes over to a ledge, so that they can climp up the hill and jump off the waterfall. Landon goes first, and then Melanie, and MJ. Shavonda hesitates, and Landon encourages her. Shavonda interviews that Landon promised he wouldn't let anything happen to her, and that it made her comfortable. Landon and Shavonda jump from the platform together.

Back at their hotel, Landon and Shavonda dance in a restaurant. Karamo and Sarah dance next to them. Melanie interviews that Shavonda and Landon have "caught the romantic bug" and are getting closer. Shavonda babbles something about her G-spot. I don't know. Sarah interviews that Landon really cares for Shavonda, and looks at her like she's a goddess. Landon's crush on Shavonda makes me like him less. Sarah jokes that she hasn't slow-danced since seventh grade, and Shavonda demonstrates the technique used by junior-high kids the world over, where the girl puts her arms around the guy's neck, and they rock back and forth with about a foot of space between them.

The next day, the roommates go on a bus tour and arrive at a place to go sandboarding. It's basically sledding on sand. The roommates struggle up the hill. Landon dives on his stomach and slides down the hill. Willie, Karamo, and MJ go next. The only problem with this activity is that when the board hits the grass at the bottom of the hill, it stops, but your body has momentum and keeps going, so you go flying off the board. Fun! It's kind of like when you used to try to go sledding in, like, March, and there was hardly any snow left, so you'd hit a grassy patch and just go flying. Plus, you'd get soaking wet because the snow was just a pile of slush. Landon executes a midair roll before landing on his belly on the board. Showoff. The girls give it a shot, and Sarah eats some sand as the guys laugh at her.

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Real World




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