Real World
Sharon, the African Drama Queen

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Gustave: C- | Grade It Now!
Sharon, the African Drama Queen

Okay, so last "week," we left Sharon sitting in the grass being all offended by the fact that dinner was being killed right in front of her. Well, she's still there in the grass. We get to see the goat killed all over again, except this time in much more detail. Kat, Jacinda, and Neil gather around the goat, the filtered sunlight of dusk making them all look like they're in a Ralph Lauren ad. In a voice-over, Lars comments on the strange way the tribesmen killed the goat. Apparently, they suffocated it by sitting on it or something. Apparently they didn't realize that it would be quicker to bore the goat to death by making it watch the entire London season of The Real World. No, some things are inhumane punishments even for the lesser creatures of God's kingdom. Once the goat is dead, the Masai warriors stick a knife inside it and drink its blood. Okay, so it's not the easiest thing to watch, but the gang sans Sharon gather around and either go "ew!" or laugh. Does anyone have a clue as to how to act normal in the African grasslands? Jay pronounces the experience of watching this all take place "different." Yes, Jay, it is "different," since usually the meat that you consume is killed in a place where you don't have to watch. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not a vegetarian or anything. I don't even make a point of shopping for free-range meats and so forth, but don't get me started on people who find it ghastly to watch their dinner being killed in front of them like somehow the McDonald's burger they just ate just happened to die of old age or something. We see Sharon sitting in the grass again while she voice-overs some more about "living beings" and the sanctity of life. She adds, however, that she respects the Masai and understands why they "had to kill the goat." Yeah, Sharon, it's called food. Maybe if you checked out a National Geographic in your dentist's office once in a while, you might know that there aren't all that many salad bars in the African grasslands. Therefore, Sharon continues, it wouldn't have made any sense for her to "liberate the goat." True, it wouldn't have made any sense for her to liberate the goat, but at least it would have been fun to watch Sharon running while being chased through the grasslands by Masai warriors. I mean, hi, it's the second to last episode. Couldn't something happen, please? I gave up on sexual encounters between the housemates long ago, but couldn't someone do something daring and nihilistic? But no, instead we get an interminable rap session among the housemates about what Sharon should or shouldn't have done to be true to her beliefs.

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Real World




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