Real World
Save the Drama for Your Mama

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Kim: B- | Grade It Now!
Save the Drama for Your Mama

Previously on The Real World: Steven said he would only have sex with Brynn if she were walking around naked and asked him to come do her. Surprisingly, Brynn didn't stand up and shed her clothes immediately. Brynn said that Steven rejected her, and that she doesn't handle rejection well. Steven and Trishelle made out, and Brynn was jealous.

Steven and Trishelle "dance" at Rain. It's less like dancing and more like grinding against each other sexually. In an interview, Trishelle says that she and Steven have a connection, and that when they are together, it's like there is no one else in the world. Which, of course, completely excuses the fact that they're humping in public, like, all the time. Didn't the rest of the world move past that phase at age seventeen? In an interview, Steven says that Trishelle is "beautiful and smiling," which is code for "vacuous and blank-eyed." Steven also thinks that Trishelle has a positive aura, and adds that "her breasts are always on my mind." At least he was honest with that last part. In an interview, Frank lets us know that Brynn is jealous of Steven and Trishelle, and that she feels that by grinding with each other, they're throwing it in her face. Well, hers and everyone else's, but I think Brynn needs to be reminded that the world doesn't revolve around her. I don't think they're grinding to make Brynn jealous. I think they're grinding because they like to fuck each other. I doubt Brynn ever enters their minds except to think, "Hey, I hope Brynn doesn't mind if we have sex all night while she's asleep in the next bed. And I hope she doesn't try to join in again, because that was just annoying." On the dance floor, Trishelle pushes Steven's face into her breasts. This is juxtaposed with footage of Brynn leaning on a railing above the dance floor, so we're supposed to think that she's just standing there, staring at them, all stalker-like. In the last shot of Trishelle, she is so dead-eyed and drunk or high or something that it scares me. It's not a pretty look, for her or anyone.

Cut to the suite, where Trishelle and Steven make out in bed. Out in the living room, the other roommates plus some random guests who are never introduced or explained discuss the fact that Trishelle and Steven don't even talk to each other during the day and then they screw all night. Brynn crawls into bed with Steven and Trishelle and tells them that she's about to ruin their night, because she's a little jealous. Trishelle is all, "Whyy-yyyy?" Brynn says that she's upset that someone else is "getting action." Brynn is working the always hot look of a big plastic cup of beer and a cigarette behind the ear. Sex-ay. In an interview, Brynn says that she's a very jealous person, and that she gets jealous when people get things that she wants. I don't know if "jealous" is the best adjective for her, then. Try "self-absorbed," or "egocentric." I would even accept "selfish." But jealousy is the theme of this episode, so jealousy it shall be. Well, jealousy, and flatware. Steven claims that the room is "an action-free zone." Meanwhile, he's clearly doing something to Trishelle under the covers and I just threw up all over my keyboard so excuse me while I run out to Staples and get a new one. Okay, I'm back. In an interview, Brynn says that she is jealous of Steven and Trishelle because she wanted Steven to hook up with her first. So, she didn't want a relationship with Steven. She just wanted Trishelle to get sloppy seconds. Interesting.

Oh, dear. The Comic Sans Crap-Ass Closed Captioning Font is back. Over a night-vision shot of Trishelle and Steven in bed, we hear (and read) Trishelle say that she thinks Brynn is jealous of them. Wow, that Trishelle is so perceptive! How did she ever figure that one out? Could it be...the fact that Brynn just told them that she's jealous? In an interview, Trishelle says she feels bad that Brynn is uncomfortable having her and Steven sleeping in the room, but not bad enough to, you know, stop it. Okay, she didn't say that last part, but she clearly meant it. Anyway, the lovebirds move to Steven's room. The only problem is that Frank is sleeping in there. Trishelle and Steven start doing it, and Frank tosses and turns and finally gets up. In an interview, Frank says that the only thing he doesn't like about people having sex in his room is that it wakes him up. That's the only thing he doesn't like? He doesn't mind that it's fucking rude, and annoying, and uncomfortable as hell? Hey, I can understand that young, horny, beginning-of-a-relationship thing. But are they animals? They can't hold off for one night? Why do I even bother trying to explain these things? Frank concludes, "When it wakes up Frank, that's when he gets upset." Oh, referring to himself in the third person earns Frank a serious deduction. How can anyone do that with a straight face since that episode of Seinfeld with Jimmy? The other roommates ask Frank if the moaning was keeping him awake, and Frank says that it was actually the slapping. Okay, that was really more than anyone needed to know. Not that Trishelle and Steven aren't asking for it, but did Frank really have to say it? Because this keyboard is only a few paragraphs old, and I really can't afford to buy another one just yet.

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