Real World
Ruthie's Dead

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Ruthie's Dead

Welcome to the first Real World Show Summary, where I look back with some anger, some loathing, and hopefully some humor at each episode. I will warn you ahead of time that I'm really fickle, so one week a certain cast member will be my favorite and the next week I will hate them. But isn't that what the Real World is all about? Shout outs to Wing Chun and Sars (whose jokes I ruthlessly steal without so much as a tm).

This episode starts with quick clips from the Casting Special. First we see a shot of the Rejects who hosted the special -- people who applied but were not chosen for this season. Well, except for the not chosen part, because one of them, Colin, ended up on the show anyway.

We meet Amaya, a blond with weirdly dark skin (I found out she is Spanish-American, so maybe this explains it). Her niche appears to be the naïve person who wants to become more experienced (see Julie in the first season). As she shows off the bedroom she grew up in, she says, "I don't really know the person who lived in this room."

Kaia talks with her jaw clamped shut. From now on, she shall be known as Tetanus Girl, since she obviously stepped on a rusty nail at some point and now has lockjaw. No one else seems concerned about this.

Justin is up next. He is currently the front runner as my favorite castmate. The producers make sure we know Justin is smart and gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Matt describes himself as "cocky." The interviewer says, "Could border on self-righteous, maybe?" and he agrees. Hey, he's the conservative one (see Aaron in L.A., Rachel in San Francisco). I can't wait until he starts passing judgment on his roommates because of their liberal values. How kind of the producers to tip us off early.

Ruthie is the native Hawaiian. Plus, I read in Entertainment Weekly that she has a drinking problem.

Teck is the class clown. To me, he looks constantly stoned. I guess if you like to smoke pot, Hawaii would be a good place to be, since they grow it there. Don't they?

And Reject No More Colin rounds out the cast. Colin has a really bad haircut. Maybe that's why he was a reject at first. Then the producers said, "Wait. We can cut that hair! Put him on the show!." That's how I imagine it happened.

Cue the opening credits. I think the goal of this show is to teach people the proper way to pronounce Hawaii. It's Ha Wa EE, not Ha Why EE. But if you say it like that on the mainland, it sounds pretentious.

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