Real World
Roller Boogie

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
Roller Boogie

It must be that time in the season where the house is really messy, and everyone complains about it, but no one actually does any cleaning. Also, each roommate is contractually obligated to give an interview explaining how he or she is not messy, and constantly cleans up, and how it's all the other roommates who are big fat slobs. All this to say that the show opens with shots of various slobbery around the house.

MJ and Landon sit in separate hot tubs. MJ asks Landon if his family is well off. Landon says that they're not, and that his dad is a teacher who works summers as a roofer. Landon interviews that his work ethic comes from his father. MJ says it sounds like Landon had to work for his money, and Landon agrees.

Willie stumbles drunkenly into his house with a big group of friends. One of them comments that the house is "a dump." Willie chows down on some Doritos and says that he lives with pigs, and that if it wasn't for him, the house would be a lot worse. I wasn't kidding with the first paragraph of this recap. Landon and MJ overhear the whole diatribe. Willie gives Shavonda a little credit for cleaning. Landon interviews that Willie should come to him with his problems instead of yelling about it when he's drunk. Willie parodies the classic show opening: "Six pigs, picked to live in a house." I think that would have been funnier if hed said "Six pigs, picked to live in a sty." Nope, it's still not funny.

The next morning, Sarah is going crazy with the cleaning. Hey, they have a Dyson! I covet a Dyson. There is a ton of crap in the reservoir, which I don't get, because they don't have pets or anything. Where did all that hair come from? Forget it. I really, really don't want to know. Yikes. Sarah interviews that she can't take the filth anymore. Sarah scours every room in the house. She finishes and tells Karamo she's going to sleep.

Sarah gets into bed at 10 PM. Meanwhile, MJ and Landon are out at a bar somewhere, ordering shots. In a confessional, Landon wears a shirt that says "Wingman" as he explains that he and MJ serve as each other's wingmen. I'm not sure what that whole segment was about, except to show off that Landon has a shirt that says "Wingman," which might have been clever in about 1987.

Landon and MJ arrive home. Landon finds a container of soup and heats it up. He pulls it out of the microwave and burns himself as we see a shot of Sarah sleeping and learn that it's 3:28 AM. Landon makes really loud noises of complaint about the burn on his hand and it wakes Sarah up, although it does seem a little suspicious that the cameras happened to be right there at the moment Sarah woke up. Sarah walks out to the balcony and tells Landon that he's being too loud. Landon explains that the soup burnt him. Damn soup. It's always out to get you. Landon slurs that Willie was being loud last night, as if that has anything to do with anything. Sarah agrees with me about the irrelevance of Willie's behavior to the point at hand. Willie hears his name and yells to ask what's up. Landon says that Willie kept him up until 5:30 AM with his loud talking. Sarah asks why Landon didn't say something at the time. Landon says, "That's not me." Sarah starts bitching about how much time she spent cleaning up today, which is also not relevant. Landon says that cleaning was Sarah's choice, and that no one asked her to do it. Sarah interviews that she just wants Landon to be quiet, and that Landon is making personal attacks. MJ interviews that Landon internalizes his problems and lets them build up, which isn't the best way to handle things. Landon admits that he's trying to be an asshole, and concludes by telling Sarah to fuck off. Sarah starts crying and tells Landon never to talk to her again. Oh, the drama.

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Real World




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