Real World
Puffy's Dead!

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Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Puffy's Dead!

Nicole and Rachel start freaking out because they think their favorite fish, Puff Daddy, is dead. Quarrel checks out the situation and reports that one of Puffy's bubbles is caught in the filter, and he's eating it. Ew! Suddenly, this show should be on Animal Planet. Quarrel thinks that Puffy is dead, but then realizes that he's still alive. Nicole freaks out some more. In an interview, Nicole says that she had to rescue Puffy. Nicole gets a net and climbs up to reach in the top of the tank. None of them thinks to turn off the air filter, but maybe they can't reach the controls. Too bad they don't have a fish guy to yell at, like Cynthia did in Miami. Nicole tries to get Puffy into the net, but it's not working too well. Rachel is on the phone with someone, reporting what happens. Nicole finally gets Puffy out of the air filter, but she explains in an interview that he's not looking too good, because his bubble is deflated and he's blind in one eye. Man. Also, that one segment had more action than the rest of the season combined.

Mike and Kevin walk down the street. Kevin wonders whether Mike will have trouble going back to Ohio and hanging out with his friends, because Mike has grown and changed so much. Shut up, Kevin. And even though he's not talking yet, shut up, Mike. In an interview, Mike says that he's always told his friends not to "drop the n-bomb" around him, but now it's different because he has a black friend. Remember when I told Mike to shut up? He really should have taken my advice. Mike talks about how weird it will be to go home. For some reason, Kevin is doing this bizarre head-bobbing thing while he walks that makes him look like a chicken. What the hell was that?

Murray: So, Mike's dad.
Bunim: I don't care.
Murray: But what about Malik's --
Bunim: Don't care.
Murray: But surely you must want to know about Nicole's --
Bunim: Still not caring.
Murray: Maybe we should just get drunk.
Bunim: "Get"?

The Sad Acoustic Guitar of Death plays as Nicole hugs the fish tank and mock-cries, asking why Puffy had to die so soon. In an interview, Nicole thinks that the fish are dying from lack of love. In an interview, Rachel says that it's terrible to watch Puffy die, because they have such an attachment to him. Too bad Puffy's only attachment was to the air filter, since that's what killed him. Nicole scoops Puffy out of the tank and slowly and solemnly carries the dead fish across the room while Rachel stands by reverently. Nicole tries to convince Quarrel that Puffy is still moving, but Quarrel replies, "He's stinking." Heh. Nicole and Rachel put Puffy in the dirt of a potted plant. Nicole asks for a moment of silence, and then makes a eulogy that is actually pretty funny. Rachel starts scraping dirt over the fish, and Nicole yells out, "No, Puffy! Take me!" In an interview, Nicole says that if more fish die, she might have to resign as "fish guardian." Nicole thanks Rachel for helping her in her time of need, and hugs her. Rachel whispers, "Don't touch me. You touched a dead fish." Heh. Please give us more comic subplots. For the love of all that is holy. Please.

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Real World




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