Real World
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Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
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Meet The New Cast. Same As The Old Cast.

Night. Pool area. Jose and Zach decide to fish. Svet wants attention, but they don't want to give her any. John joins them, and they go out to the pier. While the boys try to fish and make drinks and relax, Svet stands around doing prop comedy and asking them to play with her. She camera-talks that she hasn't had any friends of her own in three years and wants to make friends. She's like a puppy here. It's kind of cute. And sad. But mostly cute. Ha: she wants to play charades, and actually suggests it. The boys are just annoyed by her now. Zach says that Svet is exhausting, but (basically) that she can get away with it because she's hot. Svet finally leaves.

The roommates shoot pool. Svet drapes her legs over Zach. Tyler calls her "Slut-lana." Svet is not amused, and thinks he goes too far sometimes and that they're going to clash. See, I know fun gay men like Tyler can get away with a lot, but occasionally one goes too far too quick, thinking that every girl is his girlfriend right away. Like Isaac Mizrahi grabbing Scarlett Johansson's boob when he'd never met her before. That should have a name, like a Sniglet, when a gay guy goes too far too soon with a woman. Call it a Mizrahi.

Svet gets a message from Martin. They talk. Svet tells Martin that she thinks Zach likes her, and that he's obsessed with feet. Martin gets pissed and threatens to kick her and Zach's asses. Nice. They have that kind of abrasive relationship. Svet is afraid that she and Martin are not going to last. No shit. She tells him that now she's going to go do the same thing she did last night: go look at his stupid picture. They hang up. She stands up and pulls the underwear out of her anus.

Svet and Zach eat food while Tyler and Janelle gossip about them: Tyler thinks Zach like Svet. No kidding. More eating. More gossiping. Crap song. Commercials.

Back. Flag. Water. Lifesaver. Cabana. House. Railing. Kitchen. John heats something up. Paula forages and eats some "Moose Crunch." Am I supposed to know what that is? John camera-frats that Paula never eats real food: "That body must be wanting something in it." Heeee. He suggests that she have a slice of pizza and she freaks out, camera-talking that she doesn't know how the roommates can just eat like that, and that she wants to do it too. Yikes. "I'm jealous," she tells John. She says that eating a slice would make her depressed, and then she rants to us about the shame cycle, and...sigh. I know I should be more sympathetic, but she really just sounds insane. Also, the crap she eats has just as many calories as a slice of pizza. They're just empty calories. Put down the moose poo and have a slice, you fruitbasket. The worst you're going to get is a case of Burning Mouth Syndrome. She takes her Sierra Mist or whatever the fuck and goes to the couch. Svet babbles about pizza in a baby voice. Of course she does.

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Real World

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