Real World
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Meet The New Cast. Same As The Old Cast.

Outside. Paula stands on the street with Zach, and boy, she's not wasting a day in revealing her nutty side. She breathlessly babbles that she doesn't thinks she's pretty enough or big-boobed enough or smart enough, and she doesn't want anyone to look at her. Intercut over scenes of the others having fun at the bar, Paula says that she hates "it" and that she's just "so sad." Zach wonders what he can do for her, and she says, "Nothing." Zach camera-fros that he's really concerned for Paula. He hugs her. She breaks in two. Aw.

Day. Sky. A parasailer. House. Fish. The phone rings. My cat looks up, thinking it's the phone. Hee. Tyler's friend "Fitch" calls, wanting to hear about the roommates. Well, Fitch, have you seen any other season? Well, then you know them already, girlfriend. Tyler describes the kids over shots of them. Janelle is biracial and going to law school and he likes her. Svet is "straight-up Russian mafia" and has "boobs that go on forever." Ew. Where are they going? I like Fitch because when he's done hearing about one he commandingly says, "Next." Jose has a heart of gold and he's very sweet. John is a meathead who walked in with a blow-up doll. Zach is a "Jew from Seattle" with scruffy hair and a playful attitude. "And we have an anorexic girl," he says, with a glint. He adds that she needs a Powerbar. Hee. He gets off the phone and strides out of the phone room past Paula, looking a little mischievous. Funny.

Kitchen. Tyler tells Paula, "All right, give me the dish." While Paula starts snacking on various things, Tyler says he thought she was just drunk and upset last night. Paula -- her skin all fucked up from lack of nutrition -- lies that she was really drunk, and that now she worries that the roommates are going to think she's always like that when she drinks. She camera-ghosts that she feels like she has to prove herself because they've all probably never seen a girl act like "this." What, they've never seen a girl get too drunk and make a scene at a bar? Then they've never been, like, out with a girl. Or in a bar. Or drunk anywhere ever with anyone who has a vagina. Tyler camera-talks, "The girl got drunk. End of story." Well, not quite, but okay.

John then puts dishwashing soap in the dishwasher and goes to read. While Tyler tries to open a can of tuna by whacking at it with a spoon, soap starts pouring out of the bottom of the dishwasher. The boys laugh, and Tyler and Jose clean it up with towels. "I'm acting as a levee," Tyler says. "I've learned a thing or two from Katrina." Too soon!

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Real World

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