Real World
Premiere

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Stee: C- | Grade It Now!
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Meet The New Cast. Same As The Old Cast.

Jose and Paula drive a Ford! SUV. Ford commercial. Ford commercial.

House. Svet bitches that she knows that one of the roommates who are about to walk through the door, will be a blonde; she thinks blondes always get all the attention: "Not that I'm an attention whore." Noooooo. Not at all. Paula and Jose arrive. Janelle has a giant mouthful of food and plays the "see food!" game without meaning to, running over and hugging Jose. She camera-talks that she's really happy to see another person of color. Svet calls Paula a "skinny blonde bitch" to us. She thinks it's the story of her life.

The boys get bags from the car. One of the bags starts buzzing. But their giggling turns out to be for naught as it's just an electric shaver. Boo.

Zach and John decide to room together, while Tyler and Jose do as well. Tyler tells Jose that he and his friends are all very weird and eccentric. Jose doesn't look too happy about the situation.

The girls look at Svet's boyfriend's photo. "Oh, he's cute," says Janelle, but she says it like, "Oh, he's not that ugly." Nice.

Zach says something about breaking up with his first "relational partner" recently. John just got out of a long relationship, too.

Yawn. More bonding. Paula is attracted to someone in the house but won't say whom.

John says he doesn't really have a type. Just whoever is the easiest to date rape.

Paula says she's too old for anyone in the house, and that she doesn't have a type. She goes on to say that she thinks all the boys in the house are beautiful.

John does a bit where he says he saw no raft in the pool so he brought his own...and it's his blow-up doll. Pool montage! The camera invasively lingers over the kids as they get into their bathing suits. Wow, if there was ever any question as to whether or not Janelle's tits were fake...no more. Paula camera-thins that John is too cocky: "Typical dude." They decide to go drinking that night. Really?!

Duval Street. Bars. Motorcycles. The kids walk. Stores. Bar. The girls dance on the bar. John camera-talks that Paula is beautiful but a little thin. Then, in the bar, he asks Jose, in front of Paula, if he'd mind seeing Paula with "ten or fifteen" pounds on her. Jose says not at all. Svet yells at them to stop it. But meanwhile, Paula camera-bones that she's hurt. She adds that she has eating issues, and obviously her roommates picked up on it. Uh, yeah. Because they have eyes. Eat a sandwich, Mary-Kate. Jeez. Well, now she goes outside the bar and bitches to Zach while the others stay in the bar. It's all slo-mo and weird while Paula hangs around glumly and continues to voice-over that she was pumped to meet new people but now she's realizing maybe she just doesn't like people. Oh, wah!

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Real World

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