Real World
Play it to the Bone(heads)

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Play it to the Bone(heads)

Previously: Becky is a tramp. She's also a self-righteous, irritating twerp whose really undeserved sense of superiority comes from being maybe four or five years older than some of her housemates. Eric and Kevin get freak-nasty on each other, and Kevin writes Eric a mean letter that makes Eric very, very angry. And when Eric Nies gets angry...people DIE. Of boredom.

Kevin and his friend enter the loft. Eric, in a backward-ass beret, surrounded by his posse, eyeballs Kevin. Kevin does the same to him.

Eric nudges one of his friends and says, "Yo, yo, yo, I shouldn't say nothin' now, it wouldn't be right."

Kevin and his friend get up, and as they're walking out, Kevin loudly says, "Yo, Eric, be a man." Umm. I guess Kevin's not leading by example.

Eric says, "Ex-CUSE me?" and then hollers that he and Kevin need to talk. The door slams behind Kevin and his friend.

Eric and his friends get excited as little girls in spring and start jabbering, "I can't believe he did that," etc., etc. Eric then deconstructs Kevin's letter and says that Kevin basically tells Eric to stop frontin'. Yeah, Eric -- you can't read!

Eric then explains in excruciating and unbelievable detail that THAT means he has "like, a curtain in front of me," and everything that you see isn't real. One of his friends says, "Who does he think he is, Sigmund Freud?" Eric scoffs. Eric -- stop frontin' -- you don't know who the hell Sigmund Freud is. Oh, and Eric -- you really need to stop pretending you've got lots of street cred; you're making even Vanilla Ice writhe with shame.

Kevin's interview. He tells us that Eric is constantly trying to prove that he's down, as far as black people are concerned. Really, Kevin? WOW, I never would've guessed! Back to Eric and his coffee klatsch. They get all indignant, like, "Who is he to judge?"

Kevin's interview. He explains that he told Eric that Eric needs not to repress so much, or he's going to explode. Good heavens, if Eric repressing means his putting a damned shirt on, let's have him repress away and damn the risks.

Eric's trying to read Kevin's letter again. Kevin's letter tells Eric that Society values Eric's life more than his (not once Society saw this show, I bet) and that unlike others in the loft, he wasn't born with a silver spoon in his mouth and his father is not an MBA or a referee for the NBA. One of Eric's friend's asks, "So what does that have to do with you?" Eric says, "Zero." ["Actually, Eric's dad is an NBA referee." -- Wing Chun] Cut to Eric leaving Monmouth County Probation Department. He's shaking his parole officer's hand and making plans for their next meeting.

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Real World

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