Real World
Outward Bored

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Jessica: D | Grade It Now!
Outward Bored

Aaron, in his interview, explains that when they arrived at the hotel, they were really tired, but he looked and Dom, and he was all, dude, when are we going to be in Yucca Valley again? And, dude, everyone knows that Yucca Valley rocks! It's a never-ending freaking party, dude! So Dom and Aaron go to this dive bar and shoot some pool and drink, and get back to the hotel at 2 in the morning. Aaron tells Dom that they're going to regret staying out so late in about two hours, when they have to wake up. Dom just puts his pillow over his head.

4 AM rolls around. Shots of everyone looking like they're going to kill themselves. I once got up that early to go skiing and almost threw up. Seriously. That's too early to get up. Even farmers wait for the sun to come up before they milk the cows. Sometimes, I go to bed at 4 AM. Well, not now that I'm old. But I used to. Anyway.

Cut to Joshua Tree, where the roommates roll out of the Winnie, and meet up with Cheryl and Steve, the other instructor, who have laid out a bunch of stuff, like sleeping bags, and canteens, for each of the housemates to pack in their backpacks. Cheryl reminds them that, on this trip, there is no sex, drugs, or rock and roll. See? Nature Nazis.

Jon and Steve have a minor altercation regarding his headwear; Steve wants Jon to trade his Stetson for a baseball cap, but Jon would rather not. Steve tells Jon that the back rim of his Stetson is going to make it hard for him to carry his pack. Jon doesn't care. Wouldn't Jon's Stetson help protect his neck from sunburn? I'm just sayin'.

Aaron ineptly flirts with Cheryl, asking her some questions about the toilet paper situation. She giggles. Poo is so hot, dude. Dom rolls his eyes.

Glen explains that he had a horrible cold the weekend of the trip, and he felt awful. He does look peaked. I can't believe I'm saying this, but I feel a little bit bad for him. I can't imagine doing a punishing hike, with no shade and a thirty-pound pack, with a bad cold.

Okay, can we take a sec and talk about Beth's outfit? Hot pink, skintight bike shorts, under short, fluttery light pink dolphin shorts. Pink, green and blue tie-dyed tee shirt. Red plaid button-down flannel. Black baseball cap. Brown hiking boots. My eyes!

Hee hee. So everyone takes off without Beth, and she has to totter after them, yelling at them to wait for her. Eventually, she catches up, as Steve explains that they have "a semi-technical hike" ahead of them, which means that sometimes they'll have flat land to walk on, and the rest of the time, they'll be scrambling over rocks and whatnot. Steve explains that if they can hike efficiently, it will make the difference between going to bed at 10 PM and at 2 in the morning. That's a damn long time to be hiking.

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Real World




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