Real World
Outward Bored

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Outward Bored

At 9 PM, the doorbell rings, and it's the Outward Bound tour leader. "It's a girl! A lady! A woman!" Glen sputters, hoping no one noticed his glaring lack of political correctness and his seeming inability to find the correct and appropriate word for this female who, by the way, has eaten bugs and probably can climb the side of a cliff using only a hairpin and a hot banana. Aaron says, in his interview, that when you "think about these mountain types, if it's gonna be a woman, I thought she was gonna be about 6'8", with a beard, she can, like, bench-press 280." But, dude, she's not. The tour guide, Cheryl, is, in fact, a tiny little thing who looks quite a bit like Marlee Matlin. Aaron is instantly besotted, taking Cheryl's coat, and telling her he expected someone more "rugged." Cheryl tells Aaron that she is rugged. Aaron tells her that she totally is not. He wonders to himself if she would like to do some Jell-O shots with him back at the frat house. He shakes her hand for, like, twenty minutes.

Beth tells us in her interview that Aaron was totally smitten by Cheryl, like we couldn't tell after he turned to the camera, pointed at Cheryl and gave the audience a huge, cheesy-ass thumbs-up. Beth says it was "hilarious" to watch Aaron try to get in their tour guide's pants.

Aaron and Dom show Cheryl the house, and she's very impressed, asking them flirtatiously if she can move in with them. Aaron jumps on the suggestion, and Dom mentions that Irene is moving out. You can see the little wheels turning in both of their horny little heads. I'd give them a hard time, but think about the women in the house; Tami is insane, Irene is engaged and owns a number of loaded weapons, and Beth is...well, Beth. Cheryl is definitely cute, but she also seems, you know, normal.

Cheryl tells the roommates that they're going to Joshua Tree for a hiking and rock-climbing trip. Joshua Tree is part of the Mojave Desert in California, and it is beautiful in a very sparse, tree-less way. Personally, I like a lake and trees when I go camping, but Joshua Tree is bizarrely, and kind of apocalyptically, lovely. It's also about 500° during the day. Tami wrinkles her nose at the mention of hiking. Cheryl tells the roommates that they need to pack and carry everything they'll need with them "into the back country." Irene says she'd better not break her leg, because she's getting married in three weeks. Thanks for the newsflash, Bridey McWeddings. Dom wonders if they'll see any coyotes, and Cheryl says they may, if they're lucky. In his interview, Aaron explains that Tami and Beth are going to have "the most trouble" with the trip, "because they have a problem bonding themselves with nature." I don't even know what that means, but I suspect I have a problem bonding myself with nature. Cheryl mentions that they might see some mice out in the desert, and Tami and Beth freak. Mice, y'all. You see mice in the pet store. I can't get behind any hiking trip that only promises mice sightings. In her interview, Tami says that she just hopes to God no animals come near her. Okay, I'm way more bonded with nature than she is.

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Real World

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