Real World
My Roommate, He Wrote Me a Letter

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My Roommate, He Wrote Me a Letter

Heather once again becomes Nancy Reagan as she describes Becky crawling around, under or over tables in her teensy little outfit, and at this point, although I don't know, I would bet Heather is (a) a born-again Christian, (b) a virgin, or (c) has A Serious Boyfriend Whom She Is Planning on Marrying, because her behavior is endemic of all three. So much for all her talk before about "understanding different kinds of lives." Whatever.

Norman and Becky sit on the couch, having a party post-mortem as Andre blows some damn impressive smoke rings. It might be the NyQuil talking, but I think Andre would not be unattractive if he cut his hair, and perhaps gave up music. He's got a nice face. ["Yeah, for a girl." -- Wing Chun] Whoops. Okay, moment over.

Becky says mournfully, "I didn't meet any cute boys." Norman says, "I didn't either." Becky says, "And if I did, they weren't interested in me."

From upstairs we hear a bloodcurdling yell, perhaps as if someone from the cast had gained clairvoyance and seen where they'd all be in ten years. "AHHHHHHHHHH -- Get OUT!"

Becky calls, "Remember to use a condom!"

Cut upstairs. Kevin is hollerin' up a storm as Heather sits on his bed. Becky comes over and jumps on top of Eric.

Eric, in his one-on-one -- during which he wears another of his endless supply of gym-queen tank tops -- talks about lying on his bed peacefully until Becky leapt on him: "I was not rolling around with Becky, Becky was rollin' around with me." Cut to a shot of Becky lying behind Eric reading a book. I find it supremely ironic that Eric wears more clothes to bed -- a short-sleeved Jockey t-shirt and boxer shorts -- than we ever see him in during the day.

I would transcribe more of Eric's one-on-one, but there's only so many times I can type, "blah blah blah ME ME ME blah blah blah ME ME" until I get some work-related injury.

Kevin's one-on-one. I'd totally forgotten he lived there. He talks about how he was pissed off, wanted to be left alone, and needed to go to sleep. Word Booty, mister. Cut to Norman, Heather and Becky in the room, singing and being sort of bratty, all while Kevin screams. And really, really screams.

Oooh, normally I don't address ads in my recaps, but I'd like to say one thing aboutThe Perfect Ripoff -- er, I mean, The Perfect Storm. Oh. Guess I said it already.

Household squabbles! Orange juice being left out, people eating one another's food without permission, and Heather telling Eric to "shut the fuck up" when he lectures her about leaving water on the stove. Heh. Also, Eric is actually wearing a jacket in one of these scenes, although he is, of course, shirtless in practically every other one.

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Real World




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