Real World
Montana Gets A New Mattitude

Episode Report Card
Djb: C- | Grade It Now!
Montana Gets A New Mattitude

Cut to Sean on the phone with his no-longer-his-girlfriend girlfriend, "Becky," kvetching about the impending arrival of Genesis's alternafriend. Shouldn't he be busy cranking up the Gloria Estefan hits and making sure all the small boys in town are safely stowed away? Preparations need to be made and precautions must be taken: a gay is coming over! From behind him (careful, Sean, he's behind you! Self-preservation is your only priority! Use force if you feel you must!), a decidedly male Adam walks up the steps into the firehouse's living room with Genesis leading the way. Sean shakes Adam's hand and hopes it's not contagious, even though to not catch it would prove Daddy's whole worldview wrong in one fell swoop, which is a highly unlikely state of affairs. Sean tells Adam, "You look a little different," and Adam volleys in an attempt at a low speaking voice, "I'm manly." Down in the kitchen, Elka laughs at everything Adam says because she's absolutely paralyzed with terror. And then Genesis and Adam leave. Sean, Elka, and Kameelah laugh at him some more. Kameelah comments, "The hair threw me off. I though that was his real hair, last night." Sean observes, "This is wild, isn't it?" Oh, yes, Sean. Mind-bogglingly so.

The doorbell rings again. It's Matt for Montana, and the two take off on a date of their own. Matt has unwisely slicked his hair back this evening, and his too-tall lanky frame and Dep-induced fashion hair-don't insures that a David Byrne video is sure to break out in this general vicinity very, very soon. I'm more than marginally disappointed when the cameras decide to follow Matt and Montana this evening, as I'm guessing whatever and wherever Adam and Genesis have gone simply has to be more entertaining from any number of camp perspectives than this imminent yawnfest. Over at dinner at the darkest, noisiest restaurant in the history of the food service industry, Montana wastes no time before mussing up Matt's greased locks altogether when his whole head is suddenly poised to explode under the weighty emotional baggage Montana forgot to give to the coat check guy on the way in. She exhibits her stilted, faux-Elizabethan control over the English language once more by telling Matt, "My boyfriend is seeing other people. I know it to be true." Forsooth, she does. Matt retorts for the camera's benefit with a rather lengthy speech that is almost completely drowned out by the noise of the place, and I fear that Matt's fifteen minutes might slip inaudibly by. I can only hear mentions of a "New York City," and Montana tells him that she lives there and goes to school there. Thanks for that. He laughingly asks, "What I'm saying is, should I practice for the New York bar, or should I..." but then stops abruptly, perhaps when he realizes that the TV cameras don't make the return trip southward. This is going well.

Outside the firehouse, Genesis wears bunny slippers in by far the most interesting development to take place in the entire scene, visually or otherwise. She and Jason are smoking the night away, and Genesis reports sadly, "Tammy just called me, crying. I tried to call her back but she won't pick up the phone." Genesis wishes there was something she could do about it, but she can't go home. A VO tells us that she has come to love the freedom that Boston has afforded her so far, and that she doesn't even want to think about going back to the South. Because it's all about Jason, he looks up into the neighbors' windows and muses in a too-spoken-word kind of way that he wants his life to become "easier" when he gets old and settles down. "You gotta keep growin', you gotta keep learnin', you gotta keep life worth livin', 'cause so many old people are miserable, man." For fear that he's on the verge of a full-scale karaoke rendition of "Fame," I dive for the remote and slam my entire fist into the fast-forward button before I'm cursed with the pernicious fate of hearing him utter another soulful syllable.

Previous 1 2 3 4 5 6 7Next

Real World




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

The Latest Activity On TwOP