Real World
Montana Gets A New Mattitude

Episode Report Card
Djb: C- | Grade It Now!
Montana Gets A New Mattitude

Montana, Sean, and Kameelah grouse around the firehouse as Montana, lying on the floor and swathed in blankets, frets, "I think I'm feeling guilty." Montana feels bad talking to other guys while poor Vaj sits alone in New York, letting tiny astronauts plant an American flag on his face and observe that they've taken one small step for man. 'Cause he's cratery, remember. Sean callously tells her not to bother feeling bad, because she will doubtlessly hurt Vaj's feelings if anything were to happen between her and another guy. Well, duh. So Montana gets all teary, wondering, "What happens if, I don't know, if I meet someone in Boston who I really like? I'm worried that he says he's cool with me seeing other people, but once he actually sees it happening, he's not gonna be cool with it." At which point a giant, obvious shadow -- a FOREshadow, if you will -- passes over the room so conspicuously that the entire city goes dark.

A wacky at-home-for-a-smooth-change-of-pace montage that actually includes all seven denizens of the firehouse (hey look, it's Syrus. How's the "not on camera" life been treating you for the past six weeks or so, Sy?) ends with Genesis running down one of many flights of stairs yelling, "Okay, here's the deal. It's a drag show." Kameelah asks disbelievingly if Genesis is actually going to make her "do this." The "this" to which she is referring is spending a night at a gay bar (save my virgin soul!), and as Genesis celebrates in a confessional that she's starting to "fill [her] niche," we learn that Sean, Kameelah, and Genesis will be attending. Shots of the club, where -- please put the children to bed, explicit content ahead -- there are MEN DRESSED AS WOMEN! While I spend the rest of this episode typing with one hand and clutching my pearls with the other (tm owen), I note with typical disapproval that drag queens in cheesy gay clubs all around the planet all cut the same corners and make the same costume jewelry fashion mistakes and end up looking like some sick hybrid of Freddie Mercury and the wacky comic foil chick on The Drew Carey Show, to the ultimate satisfaction of no one. Kameelah and Sean are bothered by it all, too. But less because of the synthetic wigs and dollar-store pasties, and more because of the eternal damnation that awaits them at death for ever having entered this devil's paradise to begin with. Kameelah VOs that she "was not ready for this club." Sean levels with us even further: "I felt really uncomfortable there. Just because people were so sexually expressive in their gayness." Aw, poor you, Sean. Remember when the rest of us were subjected to watching you mount Montana in the kitchen while making Ramen noodles and babies for the better part of an entire segment a few weeks back? For my money, I'd say that a far more dangerous depiction of human sexuality than people who are "so sexually expressive in their gayness" is the far more nausea-inducing, societally dismantling people who are "so sexually expressive in their Sean-ness." Sound like anyone you know? What about you, Sean?

Genesis, appropriately, is having the time of her life. She's dancing, she's meeting people, she's drinking a beer that actually comes in a bottle rather than a can (like she's NOT so much better than everyone else on this show. I mean, c'mon). We see her meeting a drag queen named "Eve," whose boy name is "Adam." Cue the actual drag show. Genesis climbs on stage and places a dollar in Eve's mouth using the conduit of her, well, mouth. An okay show, in general. It could have used a little more camp (what of the celebrity impersonators and Village People soundtrack?) and a little less TJ Maxx (I think that one's pretty self-explanatory), but it offered Genesis the breakout plot thread she'd been needing, and it even succeeded in shutting up Sean for up for, like, a second. I'll give it a 6.5.

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Real World




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