Real World
Melissa is My Unfunny Valentine

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
Melissa is My Unfunny Valentine

Julie and Matt walk down the street at night and get onto an empty streetcar. Julie notes that the whole car is empty and says she's not sitting next to Matt, then. Matt really looks like he could not care less what Julie does. Julie sits a few rows behind him. In a confessional, Matt says that there is a "weirdness" between him and Julie that prevents them from talking, and he doesn't know what it is. I have written in my notes that Matt makes a "weird gesture" during this speech, but that really doesn't adequately describe it. He looks like Pauly Shore on crack. Which would be Pauly Shore, I guess. I wish I could describe it to you, but suffice it to say that he starts out pointing at the camera and twists his hands around, and ends up making a big L for Loser at the end. Back on the streetcar, Julie had abandoned her "sitting far away from Matt" plan to engage in her "sitting right behind Matt and hugging him" plan. In an interview, Julie says that "since day one, Matt had some awareness that [she] was attracted to him," and she doesn't see how he couldn't. Yeah, me neither, given the googly eyes she was making at him during that first episode. Julie tells us that she and Matt are having "communications issues," meaning they don't talk to each other very much, and when they do it's "more like him talking at [her]." I can't imagine Matt preaching to someone! Oh, wait, yes I can, since he does it every week. Matt says he loves his computer. Julie says that he made love to his computer. Oh, gross. I don't want to think about Matt making love in any context, ever. Matt says his computer is "full-figured" and he hugs it and rocks it to sleep, and they have a cool relationship. What? Is that supposed to be a joke, or something? I don't get it. Matt says that the best part of his computer is that he can control it. Well, he actually says that he can turn it on and off, but you know that's what he meant. Julie says, "It listens to you." Matt says, "Exactly." Man, can't you just see Matt in twenty years with a "little woman" who does his bidding and scary Stepford children? He seems like a bit of a control freak.

Suddenly, it's daytime and Julie is at the airport, picking up her brother, Alan. He looks exactly like her, but his face is a little chubbier and he has darker, short hair. But they have the same face. In an interview, Julie says that Alan is an important person in her life, because they have the "same scene." Julie tells Alan about a vintage guitar shop she found. In a voice-over, Julie says that her brother is a good person to talk to, and she's glad he came to visit.

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Real World




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