Real World
Melissa is My Unfunny Valentine

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Melissa is My Unfunny Valentine

Kelley is sitting outside smoking (!) and talking to Danny, who is wearing that gray sweater. It's like the two most-discussed forum topics (smoking and the sweater) converged into one scene. Danny says that before he moved there, he told all his friends that he wouldn't hook up and his friends laughed, but he said he wouldn't do it. Kelley says, "Yeah, right." In an interview, Danny says that there's a voice in the back of his head telling him to go for it. Dude, maybe you should talk to someone about the voices in your head. That is not a good sign. Didn't you watch ER last year, when Lucy got stabbed? These things take root in your twenties. I know because Mark Greene told me. Oh wait, where was I? Danny's saying in an interview that it would be different if he had more time to "hang out" before leaving, and that he's been thinking about Paul the entire time.

Danny is on the phone with Paul. Man, all you Danny-lovers must be in paradise this week. It's like he's Melissa, he's getting so much camera time. They are wrapping up their conversation and Paul says, "Have fun." Danny asks what he means by that, like Paul is going to slip a "I don't care if you kiss other boys" statement in the end of the conversation like that. Way to make him suspicious, Danny! Paul clarifies that he feels "like a distraction," which Danny denies, but Paul says that sometimes it feels that way. Oh Lord, please do not let him turn into another Stephanie, Nathan's girlfriend from the Seattle season. I already have to deal with her when recapping those episodes, and it's about all I can take. In a confessional, Danny says that he's going to try to hold off and stay faithful to Paul, but he doesn't know if he can. Danny hangs up the phone, so we don't really know how or if that situation was resolved. In a confessional, Danny says he's never felt like this before and he misses Paul a lot. Yeah, we got that, Skippy. Can we move along here? Danny gets into bed with Kelley and tells her he feels "like a hypocrite." How is he like a hypocrite? I hate these out-of-context statements. I have no idea to what he is referring, unless I am just being dense. Which is entirely possible. I'm sure y'all will let me know in the forums if I'm missing something. Anyway, Kelley says that "New Orleans is gay central," and that Danny is going to get hit on constantly. I didn't get the memo about New Orleans being gay central. I'd better call the Gay Head Office and give them my new address. Danny says he wants to be strong, and "quit being so retarded." Kelley tells him to be strong and have some convictions in life. I have no idea if she's telling him to cheat on Paul or not.

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