Real World
Melanie's Sob Story

Episode Report Card
Kim: C- | Grade It Now!
Melanie's Sob Story

No Most Awesome this week because my mom and my sister were in town and I had to show them around the city. Hey, it worked for Landon!

You can tell the editors are getting bored with the season too, because they've started using fancy effects in the bumper sequences between scenes. Instead of "street, people, cars, puddle, lightpost," they are now using sped-up footage of traffic and such. Anyway, Melanie is having her dirty scabies friends over to the house. She interviews that the guys remind her of people from home, and that she likes people with tough exteriors and soft hearts. The guys show off their tough exteriors by throwing a football around inside the house, and doing somersaults into the hot tub, splashing water everywhere, while wearing only underwear. That's just rude. Somebody should walk a mop over and tell Captain Underwear to clean that mess up. Another guy just goes in the freezer without asking and takes a popsicle. RUDE!

Sarah, Shavonda, MJ, and Landon go out to dinner and talk shit about Melanie. Sarah says that Melanie judged Sarah's actions in Fiji, and then turned around and bragged about how her own friends have "pulled knives on people," as if that's something to brag about. Sarah asks why it's cool to pull knives on people, but it's not cool to kiss three boys in one night. Of course, Landon nearly pulled a knife on someone, but let's just pretend that never happened. Sarah concludes, "[Melanie's] one of the most self-righteous people I've ever met."

Back at the house, Melanie giggles and carries on as her friends help themselves to more food from the freezer and throw a basketball against the wall. It always makes me a little bit sad when roommates don't realize that their newfound "friends" are really just in it for the camera time/an opportunity to fuck with MTV. Not a lot sad, but a little. And then I see that Melanie is wearing a button-down shirt unbuttoned to her bra, and a necktie directly around her neck, and I realize that I don't feel bad for her at all.

MJ theorizes that Mel just likes to do the opposite of everyone else, and since she didn't make out with three guys, she's going to go to the opposite end of the spectrum, and hang out with a bunch of guys. Which isn't really the opposite end of the spectrum, so shut up, MJ. The opposite end of the spectrum would be if she, like, became a nun or made out with three girls. MJ interviews that he doesn't feel comfortable around Mel's friends, and that it's not due to "their hygiene or whether they have a hundred tattoos on their forearms." MJ simply doesn't trust them. Which is fine, except that he's getting on Mel's case for being judgmental, and then turning around and doing exactly the same thing.

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Real World




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