Real World
Joe Quits the Business! Life Goes On As Usual.

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: D | Grade It Now!
Joe Quits the Business! Life Goes On As Usual.

Joe's having another excruciating phone call with Nic. Aren't they all? She's nagging him about -- you guessed it -- the business: "It's too late! You didn't do what you needed to do! If everyone did as much as you did, you'd already have a business." Oh my sweet fucking god, I can't believe this isn't the threesome episode. The threesome and the Flora-flashing episodes are the only things I have left to look forward to. The business failed! We all know that! But, I must go on. I must be Wing's favorite Real World Recapper! Because, people, I don't do this for money. I do it for love. And to make fun of people. Which I also love. Anyway, after Nic crushes Joe's wee soul some more, we see Dan jet-skiing in circles, a bikini-clad Flora writing some notes as she suns herself, and Sarah playing with Leroy the sweet, sweet doggie with an empty notebook close by. Flora relays, "They don't want to work, not Mike, not Dan, not Melissa, not Sarah, everyone except Joe and I are gonna bail, I bet my share on it." What about Cynthia? Doesn't she get a mention? And AGAIN with the as-yet-non-existent-share betting? Criminy.

Business meeting, a.k.a. couch-slumping time. Landon's looking about a million years old. Somebody preserve him in amber, fast. The Miami Clown Machine (tm sgib) is debating about hiring an attorney. Dan says this lawyer guy he met "is so cool." Dude, like, where do you sign? No really, they don't know, where? Joe says this is "a voting issue," and that the lawyer dude wants to meet with them. Landon reminds them that meeting with attorneys in their offices usually runs around $175 an hour. Dude, I am so going to law school. Right after this. Cyn is against the pricey meeting, imploring, "Let's not spend all of the money yet." Joe says, "It's the only way it's gonna happen." Then, Chaos Ensues as the patented Tense Guitars are turned up way loud and everyone yells over each other. Some choice bits from Joe go like, "There's no gray area with this group, it's all black and white...Are you gonna seize this opportunity, or are you gonna sit on your ass?" I scream, "THEY'RE GONNA SIT ON THEIR ASS! AND SO ARE YOU! FOREVER!" but it still doesn't make me feel like recapping this baloney. Landon yells, "What in the hell are you guys gonna do?" They do NOTHING, Landon, NOTHING! Pack it in, hang it up, go get a drink, and laugh at these jokers. What a bunch of clowns. Then, the Ascending Chord of Chaos plays feverishly, and one by one, the Miami Clown Machine gets up and leaves. Sarah remains parked on the couch and says, "Where'd everybody go, man?" Dude, they all split man. Bummer. And the grunge plays on.

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Real World




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