Real World
It Ain't Easy, But It Sure Is Big

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | 1 USERS: A+
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It Ain't Easy, But It Sure Is Big

David and Kelley are sitting outside talking. David says that Kelley travels a lot. He is stirring his drink with a knife for some reason. Kelley says she needs "constant stimulation," and asks if David likes to go out. David says he does, but he doesn't drink, and dancing is his "high." In an interview, David says when he goes out, he's looking for "fine" and "cute" women, because "that's how a playa operates." I'm already tired of his playa schtick. It's played out, yo. David confesses that he wants to strip in a club at some point. Kelley doesn't believe it. David says he only wants to do it once because he's "worked so hard" on his body, and he's proud of it. In the background, you can see Julie on the phone, probably calling her florist to order the flowers for her wedding to Matt.

Danny asks Melissa if she's ever been to New Orleans, and as they arrive at the house, they're all, "Hey, this house sucks! It's so small and crappy!" Of course, they're not. They're all, "Woo! This house rocks!" Danny says that the house looks like Tara and Melissa says, "Who's Tara?" Shout-out? Probably not. And by the way, look at the brains on Melissa! Danny explains he was referring to the plantation from Gone With the Wind. They run up to the house, and Melissa practically shoves Danny over in her rush to get to the door first. In a voice-over, Melissa says she was expecting a butler to answer the door. Anyway, as they walk up to the door, they debate over whether they should knock. Danny decides to just walk in, and everyone hugs everyone else. I must be a huge prude, because I'm really not comfortable hugging people I just met. Clearly, these folks don't have that problem. In an interview, Melissa says her first impression of David is that his "muscles are way too big." Girl, I feel you. Everyone starts giving their bio, and Melissa yells for everyone to take turns because she wants to hear everything. Oh, I get it. It's all about her. They look around the house, and we get about the fifth boom mike sighting of the episode thus far. I haven't been mentioning them because there are so many, it would really interrupt the flow of the recap. Anyway, Melissa is so excited about the house that she has to grab someone's butt. Matt is the closest, so she grabs away. Now, if their genders were reversed, someone probably would have filed charges. I'm just saying. Matt says, in the flattest monotone possible, "She grabbed my butt," but he actually manages some inflection when he follows it up with, "She's all up in my seam." Danny warns them that Melissa is "freaky." Someone mentions the robot dog (but doesn't mention the robot part) and Melissa says they can't have a dog because she "does not like animals." Wow, she just went down like ten notches in my book. Plus, she did that hair pat thing again. What is she, Mae West? Melissa says she wishes the last roommate would arrive so they could pick their bedrooms.

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Real World

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