Real World
Indecent-wecent Proposal-wosal

Episode Report Card
Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now!
Indecent-wecent Proposal-wosal

Melissa gives us some voice-over about the six degrees of separation thing some more as we zoom out of Miami and into New York City. What were the editors smoking when they put this episode together? Pass the dutchie, you all. Now we see a, a guy with a, it's a horse, wait! It's a horse and a guy kissing! No! It's Joe and Ick making out in a horse-drawn carriage! Nic gets the Hip, Squiggly Font (tm Djb), but don't we already know her? Toss her back to Monster Island, already. Ick asks who "the kissy, kissy person" might be. Might it be Joe? Might it?

Now Ick and Joe are sitting on a bench. Joe says that they "did a lot of communicating...a lot of communicating...and I absolutely know Nic is the person I could be with for the rest of my life." Nice use of a qualifier: "could." Now Ick busts out the baby talk, saying that she hadn't "heard what it was that [he] might have said." Joe plays along and says about a million times that he loves Ick. There's a shot of the carriage driver, earning his money with a bitter look on his face. Actually, it kind or resembles the look I'm wearing right now.

Okay, so Mike is throwing a party for Joe's birthday. First he said he would be taking everyone out, but now he's asking people to pony up $20 each, and Flora is refusing. Why? Because Mike said one thing first, and then changed his mind. Shut up, Flora. Mike passive-aggressively says that Flora "isn't a bitch, but she can be a real bitch." She says that she gets in fights because she says stuff to people's faces. Oh, is it not for being impossibly demanding, inflexible, pushy, and rude? My bad. Then Flora says that Mike has no balls because he couldn't even tell her he didn't want Mitchell in the house, and Mike says he said that because Dan said Melissa told him that Mitchell hit Flora. Are you following this? Without addressing the Mitchell-as-physical-abuser thing, Flora says that she's going to get Melissa and Dan in there to find out what's going on: "I'm going to spit in [Dan's] face, and you're going to watch me." I hate Flora.

Flora's on the phone with Melissa, who denies ever saying that Mitchell beat the shit out of Flora. Flora plots how she's going to call Dan out and say he gives "gay men a bad name." Melissa says that she wants to be there. Flora, you give Russians a bad name. Bitchovsky.

NYC. We get a shot of the exterior of Tiffany and Co., then Joe running with a little blue bag. Gee, I wonder where we're going with this. Ick watches Joe try on his graduation gown. There's a shot of the Statue of Liberty, then the house in Miami. I guess the editors just took another hit. Flora's in the kitchen, and Dan and Johnny (the Cuban Pat Smear!) come up the walk, completely unaware they're about to have a can of Russian whoop-ass opened on them. Flora says that she has to have a very important conversation with Dan, and that when she's done in the kitchen, she will "address him." Dan is like, "Oh, will you." Meowski.

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Real World




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