Real World
Indecent-wecent Proposal-wosal

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Alex Richmond: C | Grade It Now!
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Indecent-wecent Proposal-wosal

This episode starts rather strangely, with a shot of an assembly of Power Ranger-esque Japanime-style robots. What is this, Glark's room? ["Heh." -- Wing Chun] A synthesizer noodles tunelessly. Does it matter why? Then we segue into the living room, where Melissa is reading the newspaper (go Miami Herald!). She's reading a story about the Unabomber, and Cynthia is like, "GIRL, I KNOW him. Kaz-what? Yes. I. KNOW. HIM. Yes! I am TELLING YOU." You have to love Cynthia. One of Cynthia's girlfriends had him as a professor at Berkeley. Wasn't he a professor only until the 1970s? Oh, whatever.

The synthesizer bleats on as we segue to the street, where Joe the tiny Lothario (tm someone from the boards) and Mike are getting massages. They are met on the sidewalk by and shamelessly flirt with their cute blonde masseuse. Boners are popped all around. Geez, you'd think Mike hadn't just had a threesome the other day, and that Joe didn't already have a big, huge, ugly girlfriend. Mike is trying to understand what his "options" are for a massage. I think they offer a hand release. Just kidding. I read that somewhere.

We get an early-morning shot of garbage getting picked up. Joe and Mike are nowhere in sight. Now we're back in the living room with Melissa and Cynthia, who talk about the theory of six degrees of separation. That's fun to play. Anyway....

The synthesizer has not yet stopped. Now we're at the beach with Flora and Sarah, who are wearing bikinis. If I were a horny guy, I might make some kind of "yowsa!" noise, but since I'm not, I won't. There's, like, a minute of totally gratuitous beach bikini babe footage. I'll bet some people are into it.

Bleep bleep bleep. Living room. Cynthia is offering to call the authorities on Kaczynski. Melissa laughs that they already have him in custody. Cynthia is like, "Oh, they have him? Oh, all right. I need to work with the damn FBI -- I know nobody but criminals, girl." I love Cynthia.

Finally, we bleep bleep bleep on over to Dan. He's rollerblading shirtless. We get some voice-over to the effect that he feels he's the odd man out and "not clicking with people, and it's as much their fault as it is [his]." Then, he's out in the back of the house, bitching to Landon that he just wants to say what he wants to say, and why is that so hard to understand? Because most people are stupid, that's why. But Dan does talk a lot. Now we cut back over to Flora and Sarah at the beach, for some reason. Back and forth until Sarah totally breaks the fourth wall and says to the camera, "Hey, and you know what? Dan's a jerk, man." Finally, a fight.

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Real World

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