Real World
I Hate Matt

Episode Report Card
Kim: D | Grade It Now!
I Hate Matt

Previously on The Real World, Annoying and Colin bantered in the kitchen, kissed on the dance floor and bickered in the van. Then Wonder Bread said, "Colin rips on Amaya throughout the day, and at night he's a Romeo, sweet and sensitive." So apparently, this week's episode is the Colin and Annoying clip show, with commentary by Wonder Bread the Nosey Parker.

We begin with Wonder Bread and Colin in the confessional and Annoying watching. I kind of thought the point of the confessional was to say things without your roommates around, but apparently it's more for male bonding sessions. WB has on that green shirt, which is a tip-off to me that part of this confessional was used on a previous show (the one, I think, where Colin and Annoying hooked up for the first time). In fact, I later come to realize that most of this show is made up of outtakes from previous episodes, so I'm not even going to point them all out.

Anyway, back in the confessional, WB and Colin are goofing around saying "It's the Matt and Colin show" and making dorky faces. Annoying is making totally inappropriate reaction faces, which leads me to believe BMP must have dubbed them in later, because they do not remotely match what the boys are saying. I mean, I know she's melodramatic, but this is more like insane. Then WB starts talking in this Elmer Fudd voice and I puncture my eardrums with a chopstick just so I don't have to listen to it anymore. It is sooo bad. He says, "Amaya and Cowin are sweeping together, wink wink, nudge, nudge, nyuk, nyuk". Like, who but a seventy-five-year-old man still says "Wink wink" to denote a deeper meaning? Colin is quick to jump in with "Sleeping together in the same bed."

Cut to Annoying telling Colin to kiss her stuffed bunny and Colin refusing. There's about three more minutes of this but I really can't go into it because it's so stupid. The point is, I think, that Colin gets annoyed by Annoying and is mean to her, and she puts up with it. Plus, we get a nice long shot of Colin's hairy armpit, which put me off my feed. Back in the confessional, WB asks if Colin is intimidated because Annoying is older than him, and Colin says "definitely not."

Later (earlier, who knows?), Colin is getting ready to go out by using a whole tube of gel to smooth his butt cut back into place. BMP really needs to send out the stylist who did the makeover on him between the casting special and the first episode, because he is definitely reverting to his old ways. Annoying appears around the corner and tries to wrangle an invitation to go out with the boys, but it's not forthcoming. Instead of taking the hint and making plans of her own, Annoying insists on tagging along.

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Real World




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