Real World
Hell Is These People

Episode Report Card
Pamie: C+ | Grade It Now!
Judd Hates Everything

This time on The Real World: the kids find out they're going to Maui. Everyone hopes they have fun!

Wait. Now everyone's packing. When exactly did they find out they were going? Are we missing an episode? Pam opens a package and then everyone tells us they hope they'll have fun, and then the credits roll and now everyone's packing to go to Hawaii. Did I miss something? Pedro packs his meds. Rachel gets a last-minute phone call, and everyone bitches her out for taking too long.

Judd tells us that travelling with seven people can be very annoying. Judd's only traveling with six people, so I don't know what he's bitching about. Everyone's in the cab as Pedro asks for a show of hands as to who thinks Rachel's a brat. Judd proudly raises his hand as he looks out the window away from Rachel.

They're taking Polaroids of each other as they waiting to check into the airport. Judd's already complaining about the number of pictures being taken. He bitches and bitches and bitches to us as everyone else tries to have fun. More pictures are taken.

Aloha. Establishing shots of Hawaii. The hotel. The pool. Judd smiles and gets leid. Everyone gets leid. Jo and Judd hold hands. Their hotel room is pretty big, but the beds are small. Everyone starts claiming sleeping quarters immediately. Wow, it's really boring watching people go on a vacation. The bathroom is huge. Pam and Judd complain that Rachel and Mohammed tried to call shotgun on the suite. Rachel tells us that it only makes sense that she and Jo get the suite. It only makes sense to her, apparently, because there's a big ol' meeting about it while outside people are enjoying Hawaii. Mo says he'll take a room with Puck to sleep in the suite. They end up drawing cards for the room. Rachel and Jo end up with the little room. Rachel tries to be a good sport about it.

Judd's complaining about Rachel and Jo. Rachel complains that Judd's "too planned-out." The kids go to a luau. Judd complains that it's a "tourist event." Rachel informs us that there's an open bar. Aloha, I said.

The Hawaiian man blows the conch, but Judd keeps on talking, ignoring the lord of the flies. He complains that they have to eat the pig that's buried under the mud at the luau. Cory warbles to us that Jo doesn't eat meat or dairy, and that seeing a pig get roasted is "going to bother" her. This is why they eventually started making The Real World people get jobs and have to run businesses. These miserable bastards ruined it for everyone with their constant complaints and whining. They pull the pig out and drop it on a tray. Rachel tells us that the meat was so tender that the pig just immediately fell apart. She doesn't have to tell us that because we can see it, but she tells us anyway. Jo's immediately turning away and sneering, telling us that the "stench" was "awful." She calls the food a "corpse." Why don't you go back to your suite to bitch about it, Jo? Mohammed hugs Jo to console her from having to watch such carnage for free at a free bar with a free luau in Hawaii, where people try to have fun.

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Real World




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