Real World
He Said, She Said

Episode Report Card
Kim: C | Grade It Now!
He Said, She Said

Previously on The Real World: Arissa said that her boyfriend, Dario, was very important to her. Steven said that sex was very important to him, and then he met Trishelle. What timing! Arissa claimed to have a good work ethic, but Brynn professed to be a party animal.

Andrew WK's "Party Hard" plays over shots of the Luxor. I take that as a shout-out, since the 2000 TWoP recappers' summit happened at the Luxor. Hey, as Miss Alli pointed out, we reality-show recappers don't get shout-outs, so we have to take what we can get. Brynn is writing an email to someone when there is a knock at the door. They have a package, and all of the roommates (who, I'm sure, in any interviews following this season, will claim never to have watched the show before which is, like, a physical impossibility in this day and age) know that a package means they are about to find out their job for the season. They all come running. Brynn opens the package to find "the good VIP passes." You'd think that, by definition, a VIP pass would always be good. Arissa reads a letter from Marc, the director of marketing for the casino. The letter states that Marc will be their boss in their job at the casino. Do they ever actually leave the casino? And if so, why? They speculate about what the actual job might be. Brynn thinks she will sell cigarettes. ["So maybe she's never watched The Real World before, but now we know she's seen that episode of The Flintstones where Fred and Barney have to work off their tab at some fancy hotel and Wilma and Betty have to work as a cigarette girl and a coat-check girl." -- Wing Chun] I don't know if Brynn could handle the intellectual challenges that job would offer.

At the meeting, we get our first glimpse of Marc. I kind of hate him already. He reminds me of Mike Boogie for some reason, even though he looks nothing like Mike Boogie. Marc looks like he's pushing thirty, but tries to dress like he's barely twenty-one, and the yellow-tinted glasses are so lame. In case you were asleep a minute ago and just woke up (and frankly, I wouldn't blame you), Arissa explains in an interview that Marc is the director of marketing for the casino. Arissa just looks exhausted and anemic all of the time. She's a pretty girl, but she'd be even prettier if she took a nap and an iron pill. We also meet Jean, and Steven explains in an interview that Jean has "an outside promotions company" that works with the casino. It's "Jean" like the French version of "John," and he kind of looks like an aging elf. Marc tells the roommates that they are going to have individual interviews so that Marc can learn about their backgrounds, and then they will have an audition of sorts with Jean so that he can find out their strengths.

Alton's interview is first. Alton says that he likes to skate, rock-climb, meet people, surf, play the violin, and perform spoken-word poetry. Frank announces (again) that he's from central Pennsylvania, like, is that his defining characteristic? Because he really needs to get over it. Also, he's sitting with his legs so far apart that I can't believe he didn't dislocate a hip. I hate it when people do that, especially guys. Because girl, please. Whatever you've got between your legs is not that big, so don't even try to pretend like it is. For some reason, Marc reads off Irulan's interests, which include photography and contortionism. Wow, that is an interesting combination, and one that could be quite lucrative if she has no shame. Wait a minute, she's a roommate on this show. Of course she has no shame. Brynn is a dancer (stripper). Sorry, Subliminal Kim has been acting up again. Trishelle is an advertising major (likes to watch television). Arissa has worked as a model and was trying to open her own club in Boston (threw parties in her apartment). Steven apparently said that his interest was kissing people. Why would you ever say that in a job interview, even for a job you already had, and even for one in the entertainment industry? Steven shows off his qualifications further by explaining that he used to bartend in a gay bar. Steven also says that he's into everything and does everything. Which we saw last week. Steven looks like a chipmunk. Arissa claims that she works best under pressure, and Marc makes her do her model walk for them. Even though these were supposed to be individual interviews, Irulan is in there, too. Arissa does her model walk, and then Irulan does a split. Alton walks on his hands, and all of the change falls out of his pockets. Irulan does a series of cartwheels. In an interview, Brynn says that everyone was showing off what they could do and she felt like she had nothing to offer. Cut to Brynn yawning.

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Real World




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