Real World
Foreign Relations

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Foreign Relations

Between each segment, just imagine a long shot of one of the many, many war-related statues in France. Back at the house, on March 15, 2003, the roommates watch a tape of Bush's address to the nation. I'm sure you all saw it or read about it, so I won't recap it here. In a confessional, Chris says that Bush gave Hussein an ultimatum, saying that if Hussein didn't leave the country in forty-eight hours, the United States would attack Iraq. Chris adds that he's not for war, and that he doesn't think anyone really wants it, but he guesses all other options have been exhausted. The speech ends, and Ace is all fired up, talking about how he loves Bush.

Leah continues to employ the most annoying rhetorical device ever: "Am I pro-war? No! But my family is in New York right now. I attended ten separate funerals for September 11th. I do not ever want to do that again." That seems like a bit of a leap, but Leah was far from the only one making that connection back in March, so I won't get on her case too much. Except to say that Leah once again seems to love the inherent drama in the situation. Simon interviews that he hasn't been personally affected by war or terrorism, and that he would probably feel a lot more strongly about it. Christina says that they might be jumping the gun. Simon mutters that it's an understatement. Christina says that Leah takes it personally because "it hit right down the block." Glen Cove is down the block from lower Manhattan? Wow, my geography knowledge is not what it should be. Simon says that he doesn't want to provoke Iraq into attacking. Leah interrupts, and Simon asks if he can finish. Leah asks what Saddam has to do before we get involved, and she asks if he has to blow up another big city and kill four thousand more people. Well, he didn't really do that, but he has done a lot of other bad stuff, so whatever. Leah interviews that a lot of the roommates are speaking from their hearts. Simon says he's not making a personal attack against anyone. Except Saddam. Leah explains that Americans do take it personally. Simon asks if he's not allowed to state his opinion. Leah says he is. And then they argue some more, but does anyone really want to know the political views of the roommates? I know I don't.

And now it's time for the Most Awesome Thing I Saw on TV Last Week. The most awesome thing I saw on TV last week was yet another TV movie on the Lifetime Movie Network starring Ms. Tracy Gold (a.k.a. Carol Seaver) and titled Stolen Innocence. In this one (which was based on a true story!), Carol plays an eighteen-year-old who hates her parents and goes out and gets drunk all of the time. So, your typical eighteen-year-old. Except she and her best friend run away, but they only get, like, two towns away before they run out of money and the best friend wants to go home and it's her car so Carol hitches a ride with a trucker, like anyone thinks that's safe. But this trucker was a Christian or something because his truck said something about Jesus so he didn't try to kill Carol or anything. So then they got to a truck stop and Carol hooked up with Thomas Calabro (a.k.a. Evil Doctor Michael Mancini on Melrose Place). Except that Michael had a pageboy and wore hats all the time which made you start to think that the hair was really a wig, which it totally was, but also that it was one of those wigs that's attached to a hat, which is funny. So then Carol took off with Michael to Vegas, and she was totally in love with him even when she found out that he had stolen checks from a former employer, and even when she found out that he was previously married and had two daughters he never saw, and even when she found out he had stolen guns in the back of his truck. None of that bothered Carol too much. The thing that bothered her was when Michael tried to get Carol to take a gun and she wouldn't, so he pulled her hair and the gun went off and hurt Carol's eye. And then Carol was pissed and wanted to go home. So Michael came up with the brilliant idea of trying to get ransom money from Carol's parents, and Carol's parents called in the Feds. And then when they were supposed to be meeting to make the cash/Carol exchange, Carol's dad spotted them and despite the fact that they were at a complete stop and in a convertible, Carol totally didn't try to jump out of the car, which was bogus. So then there was a big standoff in a motel and Carol got to leave, but she was upset because she couldn't take her kitten (and I'm still not sure what the point of the kitten was) but then she and her kitten got to safety but Carol had decided that she still loved Michael and didn't want him to get killed even though he nearly killed her and raped her a few times so then the FBI agent (played by a really fat Terence Knox) talked Michael out of killing himself and he surrendered. So I'm not exactly sure whose innocence was lost, since Carol told Michael that she wasn't a virgin when they met, but it's such a typical TV movie title that I'm sure they just couldn't resist. And it is a pretty awesome title.

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