Real World
Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

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Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

Back from commercial, it's hot in the hot tub. Blue's Clues splashes Melissa and she tells him not to splash her. Blue's Clues grabs her wrist and she tells him not to get fresh. Blue's Clues tells her she's sweet and that he's not trying to get fresh, and then asks her to sit on his lap. Whatever, Blue's Clues. In an interview, Melissa says that he kept asking her to come sit by him. Blue's Clues pushes Melissa lightly in a teasing manner and she tells him not to push her. Boy, she's just a load of fun, isn't she? She's not obligated to make out with him or anything, but I didn't see someone with a gun to her head, forcing her to put on a bathing suit and get in the hot tub with him. If she doesn't like him, she didn't have to invite him back. In an interview, Melissa says he hasn't asked her anything about herself. That's probably because he can't get a word in edgewise! Melissa sits outside the hot tub and Blue's Clues grabs her hand. Melissa says, "Don't you want to know about me?" and Blue's Clues says, "Tell me about yourself." Have I mentioned that he is really not cute at all? In a voice-over, Melissa says that he was putting his arms and "baby hands" all over her. Ha! He does have really small hands.

Kelley and Jamie watch them from the house and Kelley says they're "getting it on" and Jamie says, "Oh my God!" and gasps. I don't know why they didn't show us the action, if there actually was any. In an interview, Melissa says he tried to get fresh with her and she was grossed out. Back in the hot tub, Melissa tells Blue's Clues that his people have "dry-clean-only clothes" and "really nice SUVs," and that she's never been exposed to people like that. She thinks that in real life (as opposed to the fake life she is living now), he would never be "digging" her. She asks him if he's rich, and wants specific numbers, which is really, really rude. Melissa has clearly not learned the difference between "honest" and "rude." Blue's Clues asks why money matters, and says it should be about "what someone is." In an interview, Melissa says he's "very attractive" but she can't deal with "spoiled frat boys in Gucci shoes," even though, from what we've seen, he seems pretty nice and I don't know what his shoes have to do with it. Melissa tells him they should stop talking about it because he's getting "all grouchy."

Blue's Clues has now gotten out of the hot tub as well. Melissa gets a towel and then suddenly they are both inside, getting dressed. Blue's Clues still won't give up, and he whispers something in her ear, and she swats him. Blue's Clues makes a cell phone call and then asks if he can look at Jamie's pictures, which are sitting on the counter. He tries to get Melissa to come sit with him. Melissa asks him if he wants to "make out" because he asked her to sit by him. Blue's Clues says, "Do you?" Melissa says no, and he says, "Good." Melissa starts making fun of his slip-on loafers and calls him "fashion boy," which is fine talk from someone who is wearing a muumuu. Melissa doesn't like boys who dress prettier than her, which would be all of them. Blue's Clues is still hanging in there, and asks if he can walk Melissa up to her room, but she shoots him down, and says she wants him to call her so she can see if he's normal, whatever that means. He thanks her for being with him on his birthday, and gives her a hug which lifts her off the ground. Melissa practically pushes him out the door.

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