Real World
Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

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Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

Blue's Clues drives all slumped over to one side, and my driver ed teacher would not approve one bit! He should have both hands on the wheel and aim high in steering. Blue's Clues asks Melissa where she needs to go, and she says she wants to buy a coat at "2207 Magazine Street," for those of you planning the Real World Reality Tour of New Orleans. Melissa asks him his major in college, and Blue's Clues is majoring in business. She asks him if he's spoiled, and if he's ever had a job. What does she think he's going to say? "Yeah, I'm spoiled rotten. I've never had to work a day in my life. I have servants who feed me grapes while I relax on a chaise lounge and have my feet anointed with virgin olive oil." Of course, he says that he works every summer, but his father has a rule that he can't work during the school year, so that he can concentrate on his studies. Melissa thinks that's a great rule. You know, I had friends in college whose parents said the same thing. Parents, I have news for you. Your kid will not spend their extra time studying. They will be partying, or sleeping, or watching television, or playing cards, or having sex. Maybe you don't mind that, but let's just drop the "extra time for studying" charade, okay? No one is buying it. Melissa says she told her dad she wanted a car, and he said, "Baby, you want a job!" Ha! That sounds like something my dad would say. I wish Melissa's dad was on the show instead of Melissa.

Melissa and Blue's Clues enter the coat store, where Melissa has clearly shopped previously, based on the greeting the saleswoman gives her. Melissa says, "This is my date, Matt. We're on a date!" Ugh! Now the entire Parish of Orleans and the state of Louisiana get it. Melissa asks Blue's Clues if he thinks the saleswoman is cute and then announces that she warned him not to hit on the saleswoman. Blue's Clues looks like he's sorry he agreed to date a psycho, even if it did mean camera time. The saleswoman giggles uncomfortably. Melissa tries on a coat made out of skunks, or possibly Dalmatians. Who is she, Cruella DeVille? She says she likes long coats because her butt is "ghetto" and she wants to cover it up. She lifts up her coat to show Blue's Clues her ghetto butt, saying that it "gets places before [she does]." Does she walk everywhere backwards? That doesn't even make sense! Blue's Clues takes his cue and says that she doesn't have to cover it up. Melissa tries on another faux fur coat, but it's a little more subdued, and pronounces it "stank," which means she likes it. They leave the coat store.

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Real World

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