Real World
Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

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Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

The group takes a cab to go meet with Elton. After being welcomed, they all file into a conference room. Elton explains that New Orleans Access Television (NOA TV) "allows people to talk about issues not normally covered by the mainstream media," and then we get a shot of Danny, since he lives an "alternative lifestyle." How subtle. Maybe public access is different in New Orleans, but every time I turn it on, it's a bunch of teenagers doing skits in someone's basement (à la Wayne's World), a bunch of people talking about sex, or a humorless panel discussion of boring local politics. Elton continues explaining that they will be producing a live television show. The roommates could not look less interested if they tried. I think Jamie fell asleep there for a minute. Elton wants them to "focus on content and ideas," and he "won't accept anything less than perfection." Has he watched Real World before? Clearly not. Jamie asks if they actually go into the field and do production, and if they be trained on the equipment, and he mimes holding a video camera in case we don't get it. But we do. Elton says there will be training but he doesn't want them to worry about the technology, and then he says content like a hundred times. Julie asks about the frequency of the show, and Elton says it will be weekly. Kelley asks what he wants from them the next time they meet, like a concept and title for the show, who is doing what, and the graphics. Elton says he wants all of that. Jamie obviously saw the Hawaii season, because he asks slyly if they will have access to a car. Elton doesn't really answer, but instead leads them out to the parking lot where they find their new vehicle, a black SUV of some sort. How lame! Yeah, public access television is just rolling in dough. That's so realistic, that they would get a "company car." Matt shows the first sign of life this season by running over to the car and trying to get in, but it's locked, and I laugh. Finally, they all pile in and pull out.

Back at Belfort, Melissa prepares for her date. Blue's Clues arrives and Jamie answers the door. In a confessional, Melissa says that if she has to do things she wouldn't normally do at home, she will. This is taken out of context because they want you to think she's talking about sex. Blue's Clues tells Jamie that they are going to run errands and grab a bite to eat, which doesn't sound like much of a date to me. But I guess it's about who you're with, not what you do. Melissa and Blue's Clues exit the house and Melissa is all excited about his "nice car," which is some sort of SUV. I wish I could tell you what make and model, but frankly I don't care. I guess it's a nice one, though. I don't see what a college student in New Orleans needs an SUV for, because it's not like he's going off-road or transporting around a family, but then again, I don't get the whole SUV attraction anyway. Melissa says she's never dated anyone with a nice car because most of her dates are "trifling and they don't have jobs." Blue's Clues opens the door for her and once they get in, Melissa announces they are "officially on a date." Does she have to keep saying that? Like, we get it, he gets it, the camera crew gets it, and the entire city of New Orleans gets it. Now, shut up!

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Real World

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