Real World
Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

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Eight Million Interviews with Melissa

Previously, on the Real World: Melissa hoped everyone would be ugly so that she could be the "shining star." Melissa feels like an outsider. Melissa tells David she's had bad experiences dating black men, so she dates white guys instead. Melissa, Melissa, Melissa. I'm so sick of Melissa! Kelley wants to do something important in her life, but she doesn't know what. From the visual accompanying this declaration, we can assume it will involve pasting cut-out magazine pictures in a book and then drawing on the page with crayons. The hell? I made better collages in kindergarten!

At Belfort, I guess it's later in the day from last week's episode, where Melissa apologized to David, because they're all wearing the same outfits. I'm giving Danny one more week with that gray sweater, because for all I know, all the instances we've seen of him wearing it was actually footage filmed on the same day. But time is running out for that excuse. Anyway, Melissa tells Julie she's going to meet a man today because "something's not right" and she's sick of it. Melissa says that everyone in the house wants to be "attractive and unavailable" and then nearly walks right into Danny, which was a pretty funny juxtaposition. Melissa claims again that she is going to meet someone, and Jamie (remember him?) gives her a funny look. Or maybe that's his normal facial expression. It's hard to tell, since he has gotten about three minutes of camera time thus far.

We see some shots of various Greek letters, signifying fraternities I guess, but we didn't have Greek organizations at my college and I really have never cared much about them either way. The roommates go to a place called "The Boot Bar and Grill" which is open until 6 A.M. In an interview, Melissa says that she has a problem in that she needs boys to pay attention to her. Well, at least she knows it's a problem. Now she just needs to start working on it! Melissa talks to some males aged nineteen and twenty-one, and proclaims them to be "babies," even though she's only twenty-two. One of them is in a fraternity and Melissa says that he doesn't look like he would be. This is our first clue that Melissa deals entirely in stereotypes. Now, I've met my share of obnoxious fraternity members, but I've also met some nice ones, and I don't think that it's fair to judge like that. Especially not to their faces, when you are trying to get a date. The on-screen text identifies this man as "Frat Matt," which is pretty funny, but I guess they are trying to differentiate him from roommate Matt. It's easy though. "Frat Matt" looks like Steve from Blue's Clues and doesn't wear cheesy-ass clothes and think he's "dope" and "fresh" and "bomb-diggety." In an interview, Melissa says she was being "loud, honest Melissa." I guess that is as opposed to the Melissa we've seen so far this season. Oh wait, she's always loud. She told Blue's Clues they were going on a date. We see her ask him if he has a "little girlfriend." Could she be any more condescending? First, she tells him he's a baby and then asks about his "little girlfriend." What's next? "Does baby want a bottle?" Melissa tells Blue's Clues to come and pick her up and that it will be "on the date tip," so he should dress up. God, could she be any bossier? I don't know why Blue's Clues doesn't tell her to get stuffed. Oh yeah, the cameras. Obviously, he just wants to be on television.

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Real World




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