Real World
Don't Kiss Me, Kate

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Kim: C+ | Grade It Now!
Don't Kiss Me, Kate

Previously on The Real World: Christina told Chris that his "sorry is getting sorrier and sorrier." Ace had a girlfriend named Kate who lived in Georgia. Ace kissed Mallory. He was worried that the distance would ruin his relationship with Kate. Because what you couldn't see in that shot of Ace and Mallory kissing was the gun that Mallory was holding to Ace's head.

Eiffel Tower Shot Vingt-Neuf. Christina, Leah, and Mallory lie in bed together while Ace teases them. In a confessional, Ace says that he really needs a visit from his girlfriend because his female roommates are looking hotter and hotter, and even Simon is starting to look good to him. This is accompanied by a shot of shirtless Simon sitting at the computer. Hee! Shirtless Simon is very bony and very pale. Ace suggests to the girls that they all sleep together in the same bed. Leah says that if Ace keeps going, he won't have a girlfriend when he gets home.

Ace talks to Kate on the phone. He thanks her for agreeing to come to Paris on her spring break. Yeah, big sacrifice there. If he were in Afghanistan or something, that would be a sacrifice. But Paris in the springtime? Not really a sacrifice. The camera pans down to Ace's necklace, which is basically a cord with a bunch of bottle caps and aluminum can tags on it. What was that about? Are we supposed to assume that Ace has been drinking a lot? Or are those fuck tags? Do the kids still do the fuck tags? Did anyone ever really cash in a fuck tag or were those just a flirting method? These are the questions that I will never answer. Ace tells Kate that he's going to kiss her for four hours, and she seems amenable to that idea.

Christina interviews that she is nervous that people won't behave properly around Kate, because they all snuggle with Ace a lot and she is worried that it will make Kate uncomfortable. Christina brings this up to Ace, and he assures her that it's fine, because he hasn't kissed any other girls while he's been sober. Oh, so drunkenness is like a "Get Out of Jail Free" card? Mallory interviews that she doesn't think the kiss was a big deal because they were drunk. Ace says he's kissed and dated a lot of girls, but that Kate is the only one he can see marrying. Ace interviews that Kate looks like a Barbie doll, and that she's sweet, and she's really smart because she has a 4.0 at Georgia Tech. Ace adds that he couldn't even get into Georgia Tech if he cleaned the floors. Well, now Kate is never going to live up to my expectations.

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Real World




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