Real World
Don't Call Me Daughter

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Fat Pig

Back at the park, Sarah and Willie are bit a calmer now, and Sarah explains that she didn't yell, and they finally just talk. Sarah camera-talks that when Willie does physical labor, he gets diva-ish. She finally makes the point that it's not for him to decide when is right for her to talk to Donna. She then plays the Cancer Card, and Willie apologizes and tells us that he should have been more considerate. Now they're talking and sitting and laughing a little. Ah, things get resolved so easily in the "real world."

AwkwardDinner. Sarah and CancerMom and Dad. Where's BitchFace sister? Probably home smiling smugly that she caused her sister pain. CancerMom, with a terribly sour face, wonders if Sarah's not going to talk to them. Sarah lies that she's just had a hard day and then camera-talks, telling us that she's really drained from all of this. CancerMom says, "Let's not make this into a big deal." Sarah says that it's too late, and that she's been crying about it for a day and a half. Food arrives, and of course Sarah just got a salad. She should refuse to eat in front of them. Sarah camera-talks that the only way she can defeat this is to be self-assured and not let her mom's words bring her down. Or, she can kill her mother and sister. Sarah starts saying that she's in good shape, and CancerMom apologizes and says she was wrong. Oh. Well. Then Sarah keeps going and says that CancerMom made her feel like a "monster." CancerMom's face drops at that. Sarah then camera-talks that she thinks her mom is worried she's losing Sarah, and is trying to have control. Well, that's part of it. CancerMom also is just a shitty mom. More sour-apologizing and "you hurt my feelings"-ing and poor Dad is just sitting there like me, amazed at the fucking horrible shit women put each other through.

Playground. Fast-motion of construction as Landon square-faces to us that today is the last day, and it's the building of the gazebo, and then they're basically done. Building. Building. Jon Bon Jovi arrives, smiling with his big giant Al Pacino-esque tooth caps. Sarah, eating something, says a sentence that should strike fear into children everywhere: "I'm really happy Jon Bon Jovi has come to see our playground." He compliments them all, and even climbs up on top of the gazebo with MJ and gets to, undeservedly, screw in the last screw.

Some lady tells them that IKEA has decided to donate shit for the playground. How nice of the rich Swedes. Melanie congratulates herself and Willie then leads us into fun IKEA commercial-slash-montage as the kids go to spend OPM (Other People's Money) at IKEA. Buying. Buying. Willie loves the shopping part. Buying. Fun IKEA fun. They end up with hella shit. Over.

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Real World

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