Real World

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
Shrinky Dink

Hot tub. House. Phone room. Paula talks to Abusive Keith with the bad MySpace page in her baby voice. Abusive Keith with the bad MySpace page asks whether she's scared for her shrink appointment tomorrow, and Paula says yes; she doesn't want the doc to declare that she's unfixable. Keith tries to reassure her...before reaching through the phone and punching her bitch ass in the mouth for not listening to him! Paula now does a confessional where she talks pessimistically about the upcoming shrink session and how she knows it's not going to work. Way to be positive! Paula goes crazy with the baby talk and puts pillows on the ground and lies down. Then she asks Abusive Keith with the bad MySpace page what happens if the doctor says that she shouldn't call him (Keith) anymore. Keith starts saying that they need to let him make that decision when the time comes...and she pulls the heavy phone table over onto the ground to get the phone cord more slack. Everyone goes to see what happened, and Paula yells incoherently at Zach. Then she says, "Hello?" and drunkenly realizes she's broken the phone. Zach and Janelle come in. "I broke the phone!" Paula slurs, and stumbles out. Nice.

Paula goes to the computer room to do some one-handed typing (no, not like that!), I guess composing a sweet MySpace message for her awesome man's awesome site, while the others try to fix the phone. Turns out that when the table fell over, it cut the cord in half. Zach goes to tell Paula, and she says that everyone can "die." Zach wonders whether she really means that, and then she sing-songs, "Or be sad." Zach laughs, wondering which one. She smiles an insane smile, still trying to log on to

Blowfish. The blowfish eats another fish. Yikes. Phone room. Zach tries to fix the cord. Paula hears the roommates all talking and yells from upstairs, wondering who is talking on the phone. John says, "Shut the fuck up." And Janelle adds, "Bitch, you broke the phone." Paula comes to the landing and flips them off. She continues to flip them off, hanging over the landing. Zach and Jose during all this. Seriously. Spooning. Zach tells Paula to be careful, the whole time resting his hand on Jose's ass. There's something fishy in Key West, and it's not the phosphorescence. Zach keeps smacking Jose's ass, while Paula is fake-laughing at them all. They all laugh as she trounces through the living room and says, to no one and everyone, "Kiss my ass." John then camera-frats that there are certain "red flags" when they know Paula Walnuts is coming out, and its when she says, "Kiss my ass" a lot.

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Real World




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