Real World

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!
Shrinky Dink

Zach talks to Svet and Paula. Mistake. They tease him, and ask him whether he kissed Crystal. Paula asks silly questions about Crystal's "butt" and whether they're going to get married, while Svet asks whether Crystal's a good kisser, earnestly. Paula then tells us that Zach likes Crystal, but doesn't want to limit himself. The girls start calling him an "idiot jerk" for his future imagined crimes against Crystal, and by proxy, all women. John comes into the room and joins in on the teasing. Zach says "game over" and leaves. Svet levels Zach with a parting shot, "You are so mad you got no booty." Heh.

Night. Clouds. (I smell a visual connective theme this episode!) House. House. Zach lies in bed, awake. Crap music plays. He and John have some pillow talk. Zach doesn't want to be tied down. John knows somehow that Crystal is seeking out a relationship. John jokes that Zach won't get any play, because he's "too good": "You're like dad." Zach rejects this notion. They riff on "dad," and how girls don't want to "touch dad." Well, not normal girls, anyway. Just the really fucked up ones. Like actresses. And bloggers. (Kidding!) (But not really.) Zach and John then proceed to hit each other with pillows and giggle until their parents come in and separate them. Commercials.

Night. Key West. Key West. Bars. Bar. Zach finds Crystal at her bar. He touches her face. Paula drinks a lot. Paula dances on the bar. Tyler watches, not at all amused, camera-talking that Paula has a hard time with her emotions, and when Paula drinks it allows her to be freer with them. Oh, great. Paula dances. Outside, Paula hugs an electrical box. She sticks her tongue out. Zach camera-fros that he is worried about Paula, and that her drinking "is not helping her life."

Home. Paula screams that everyone is being a bitch, and runs through the house. Zach says that this is the Paula that comes out after a long night of drinking. She starts bitching about people not putting the caps on markers. She keeps yelling and bouncing up and down and kicking things. John camera-talks, telling us that when she drinks, you have to look at her as a different person. They call this other person "Paula Walnuts." I have to say, it's kind of cute. I like it better than, well, all the other Paula's. (Even though she's clearly regressing to a time when something terrible happened to her. Well, or she's just a wretched drunk.) Jose asks her to stop kicking the cabinet. She picks her nose. Jose offers her some AQUAFINA!

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Real World




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