Real World
'Cause Music is My Life!

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Gustave: D | Grade It Now!
'Cause Music is My Life!

After a night of clubbing, the gang, sans Kat and Neil, piles into a station wagon to drive home, and they get very lost. Lars blames Sharon's sense of direction. Sharon blames Lars for ignoring her directions. Even though they get home safely, they discuss this forever afterward. Will someone just have sex already? Lars and Sharon spend quality time together, they claim, because they both love music. We all know, though, that Lars has plenty of drugs in his system to dull the pain of having to talk to Sharon, and that's why he's often stuck talking to her. Of course, no one actually says that. However, to bolster this assertion, Sharon and Lars are shown singing along to "Deep Deep Down Inside" in Sharon's room, which I believe is one of the least sing-alongable songs to be released in the nineties. The vocals sound like a car alarm going off.

Sharon explains how music is the focus of her life. She listens to a tape of her singing with Jacinda and Lars, who marvel at the quality of her voice. Sharon goes onto explain that she's a singer/songwriter, which is something you can't learn how to do in college but rather through life experiences. Oh, so that's why Jewel lived in a trailer. We see some shots of Sharon singing with her jazz/funk band.

Oh wait -- could this be foreshadowing? Sharon stops the rehearsal to drink some hot water. "I need some hot water," she says, tapping her upper chest grand-diva style. In a sit-down, she explains that she has been losing her voice a lot lately. Sharon, that's because you keep trying to talk through that gag your roommates put on you.

Hey, what's about eight inches long and always in Sharon's hand near her mouth? Sorry, gentle viewers, it's the telephone. The telephone! A montage sequence shows Sharon jabbering on the phone while her roommates yell at her to get off. Sharon, of course, doesn't think she uses the phone too much, "People just seem to want to use it when I do." "The problem wasn't one phone, seven people," says Jay. "The problem was one phone, six people and Sharon."

More phone problems. The gang has to elect someone to put the phone in their name. It has to be an English resident, so Neil and Sharon are asked to do it. Neil suggests they put it under a made-up name so no one can trace it. Wow, Neil, how anarchistic. Must be all that punk rock you listen to. Sharon refuses because it's too big a responsibility, and is quite a bee-otch about it considering that she uses the phone the most. She keeps saying, "I don't want the responsibility." Mike offers to do all the "adding and multiplying" when the bill comes, but Sharon still refuses, and everyone admits that they're pretty pissed at her. Finally, Neil volunteers, supposing that they'll never find him once he leaves because he doesn't live in London. Um, I don't know how phone connections are set up in non-US countries, but if the phone isn't in someone's name, how come they have one. And if the housemates, and not MTV, are responsible for the phone, why can't someone put in a second line so Sharon's endless jabbering doesn't prevent everyone from getting or making important phone calls? And is there absolutely no footage of anything more exciting than a fight over the phone bill? Again, I ask, could someone please get it on with someone else?

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Real World




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