Real World
Burn Book

Episode Report Card
Stee: D+ | Grade It Now!

Keith says that he loves Paula and that he fucking misses the shit out of her. Paula asks him not to say "love" and "fucking shit" back to back. He apologizes. Yeah! Way to stand up for yourself, Paula. But oh shit, Keith's going to fucking kick your ass for calling him out like that on national TV!

Day. House. Windsurfer. Parasailing. Salon. John gets into the tanning booth. Bossman Ricky Croft disses John for needing attention. John opens the booth door butt-naked. Girls scream. Tyler fucking hates it because he's not getting all the attention, so he starts singing a dissing little song from John's point of view, saying "look at me, pay attention to me," etc. "Don't cramp his style," brats Svet. Tyler camera-talks that he wonders if John didn't get enough attention as a child. Svet tells Bossman Ricky Croft that she feels sorry for him sometimes. Bossman Ricky Croft drawls that he will be going to therapy after having to deal with the kids. Bullshit, it's the highlight of his life. He'll be going to acting class after this show. Joining Komedy Sportz.

Montage of the kids tanning. Jose is naked. Tyler isn't. Tyler tries to brush away the toxic chemicals. Too late. The cancer has already taken.

Other car. Tyler continues to bitch about John. Svet shows some wisdom and breaks it down, saying that she likes John's goofiness, and that clearly Tyler is very jealous of the attention John gets. Tyler declares that he's a "better person" than John, and then continues bitching to Svet and Paula. The conversation continues into the house and...holy dermatology, Batman! Tyler is bright orange! He clearly got into a fight with the Mystic Tan booth and the Mystic Tan booth won. Fucking hell. This right here is the moment when the whole Mystic Tan/Real World promotional idea went bust. Sorry, Bossman Ricky Croft, but you guys need to place a disclaimer all over this show: "Tyler fucked up! We swear, you won't be this orange." In fact, all the kids look pretty orange, now that I think about it. Aw, so sad for the Ricker. He's going to be looking for new work soon.

Paula defends John, but Tyler brats on, insisting that "everyone" thinks John is "egregiously annoying." Tyler, I find your use of the word "egregious" annoying. He spins some bullshit story about all these "people" who ask him how he can go from spending time with amazing people who are doing so much with their lives (who? You? Because you're on a local swim team? Because you run half triathlons?) and to dealing with John. Tyler obviously knows he's being a retard because he tells Paula this story so that she can understand where he's "coming from." Paula pretends to nod. Tyler camera-oranges that John has very little ambition in life. Paula thinks Tyler and John need to respect each other more.

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Real World




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