Real World
Bank On It

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Kim: B+ | Grade It Now!
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Bank On It

As soon as MJ utters the word "homosexual," the editors cut to Willie and Sarah arriving at the house. They all greet one another. Willie took time out to get a Frappucino before arriving at the house, which also earns him points in my book. Caffeine is very important. Sarah interviews that MJ has a great body. MJ interviews that as soon as he heard Willie's "high-pitched voice," he knew that Willie was gay. That MJ. He's like a scientist of homosexuality. He's like Gay-lileo. (That joke was probably a lot funnier in my head.) Willie spots the two hot tubs. Two! Willie also spots the fish tank. Have the fish ever survived an entire season? I don't think so. Willie and Sarah decide to room together. Aren't they supposed to wait for everyone to get there before grabbing rooms? The five roommates toast to Philadelphia and wait for the final two to arrive.

Melanie stands at the top of the Rocky stairs (at the Philadelphia Art Museum) and waits. She voice-overs that she's expecting a roommate who is her opposite so that they can debate. Karamo runs up the stairs like Mr. Balboa and greets Melanie. Karamo interviews that he thought Melanie was a model because she was wearing jeans and high heels. What? I don't know. He's clearly not the gay. Melanie interviews that Karamo is very different from her because he is tall and African-American and dresses in a hip hop style. Also, he is male. She left that part out. They jog down the steps and get into a cab. In the cab, Karamo asks what Melanie thinks the other roommates will be like. Melanie says, yet again, that she's expecting people that are totally different from her. I would get annoyed, but Melanie's not in this episode enough to waste the energy. Plus, I need to save the hate for Sarah.

Back at the house, Sarah notices that the straight guys are checking out Shavonda, so she starts yelling about how much she loves being naked. Sarah says that she wore a strapless bra with her tank top so that she wouldn't be "that girl with the hard nipples on the first day." That was almost funny, and if Sarah weren't trying so goddamned hard, she might actually be interesting. Or at least not annoying. With Willie's encouragement, Sarah whips off her bra and shakes out her breasts. Sarah interviews that she's wanted to be sexy since she was five years old. Okay, that's just wrong. A five-year-old should not know what "sexy" means. So she's either lying, or she's fucked up. Or both.

Melanie and Karamo arrive at the house, hooting and hollering. They introduce themselves to the other roommates. Karamo interviews that he thinks Shavonda is hot. In a confessional, Shavonda says that Karamo is a typical athlete. Maybe they'll hook up! Karamo interviews that he knew Willie was the gay roommate. Congratulations, Captain Obvious!

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Real World

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